November 16- Chemo Day 4

Finally coming out of the "chemo fog" that I've been in for the last 2 days.  In the whole scheme of things, I would say chemo has been easier than I thought it might be.  This is just really due to the fact that my anti-nausea medications did their job and I didn't have to get up close & personal with the toilet!  However, it wasn't any walk in the park due to the fact that starting Wednesday evening I grew very tired and felt like there were lots of weights hanging off of me.  This lasted throughout the day yesterday and I barely knew what was going on around me.  My vision was blurry & I felt like all I could do was lay there with my eyes closed or sleep.  I really appreciated my friends Kristi & Carrie bringing dinner last night!
Today was better, not perfect, but better.  I cleaned the bathrooms this morning and then was able to walk to the mailbox this afternoon.  So it gives me great hope that tomorrow will be even easier and that I will be gradually returning to my normal self more and more each day.
I supposedly have 7-21 days till hair loss.  Not looking forward to that but like all of this, it is temporary!  Just want to walk through it all with a thankful & contented spirit.

November 13th-Chemo Day 1

Picked up my Mom at 8:30am.  Drove myself to Battle Creek for chemo and ended up driving back too...that was important to me somehow.  I felt slightly nervous at first but my nurse Bill was very nice and informative, he put me right at ease.  My Mom was also there with me of course & we had fun chatting about anything and everything.  Was also able to use the iPad and read.  I started by having a numbing agent put on my port area so it wouldn't hurt when the needle was inserted.  They gave me fluids and then some type of medicine to combat nausea.  Once that was finished I began the chemo drugs.  I am getting two things.  Taxotere was the first one and it took an hour for that one to go through.  Cytoxan was the second drug and this also took one hour.  They brought around sandwiches, applesauce & chips for lunch and I was able to eat some as I was not feeling anything out of the norm at this point.  I saw many other people that came in and out.  One lady wasn't able to eat her lunch as she was too sick.  Another lady had just gotten bad news, her cancer has spread to her liver.  These ladies and the visit I had with my Aunt Barb afterwards serve as a great lesson in perspective.  My Aunt Barb is an amazing woman who has been battling cancer & receiving chemo now for 2 years.  I think I should handle my 4 treatments without complaining!
Started to feel queasy on the way home, tired as well.  I waited to take my Compazine (anti-nausea drug) until after I dropped Lexi off at dance as it can make you really sleepy.  So far I haven't noticed that but I have noticed that I'm not nearly as nauseous as I was-yeahhh!  Dry throat and achy legs are the only other symptoms I notice so far.  This would be a good time to thank everyone for all of the prayers today.  I know I say this a lot but it's true, I can feel them!
Also a big thanks to Selena Reid for preparing dinner and her husband Mike for delivering it!  Very yummy potato soup and breadsticks!

Back to Life, Back to Reality

The title of my blog today is a line from a song that was popular in the 80's or 90's.  Between unpacking & laundry, I didn't have time to look up the artist or anything so if anyone wants to do that and e-mail me, that would be fun!  So anyways, this line came to my mind today as we traveled home from sunny, 80 degree Florida and arrived in cloudy, 37 degree Michigan (note: we even saw snowflakes in the air this evening).  Not only does this line refer to the weather changes that occurred for us today but also to the fact that at 4pm Kyle & I went to the cancer center for a chemotherapy training session.  AND at 9am tomorrow I will have my first chemo treatment.

I was so truly blessed this past week.  Some highlights were a bike ride (I rode a tandem bike with the kids-how fun is that?), walks on the beach, lounging and reading, laughter & conversation with family & friends, tons of food (got to try lobster rolls and a crab cake sandwich among other yummy things) and of course, the reason we were there, to take part in the beautiful wedding of Erin & Mike!

I ask that you would pray for me tomorrow.  That any fears would be calmed & replaced with God's peace.  Also that my side effects would be mild.  There was a sign hanging in the house where we stayed this week, it said:  Lord help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I together can't handle.

Lastly, I want to give a Happy Birthday shout out to Debbie, my sister's co-worker, who blessed me with a gift last week that still brings tears of gratitude to my eyes each time I think about her.  There are good people doing good things in this world & I feel so lucky to be able to witness some of those things as I go through this process.

Florida Fun!

Greetings from sunny Florida!  The temp in the rental car right now says 66 degrees.  A little cooler than what you would think of for Florida but considering we left Michigan and it's 30-40 degree weather...we are very excited!  I never dreamed last winter when my sister-in-law Erin announced her wedding date that this trip would be such a blessing.  What a great opportunity to get away and try to take my mind off of the upcoming chemo treatments!  Especially since there was a time at the beginning of my diagnosis that I wasn't 100% sure I would be able to go.  But God, in his perfect timing, worked everything out just right!  So we look forward to sun, sand, making memories with family and witnessing the marriage of two special people!

Nov. 5th-Day 35

In order to make this blog true and real, I have to be honest.  I have felt mad & even a little angry about my situation the last couple of days.  I guess since it's been 35 days since my diagnosis I'm doing pretty good!  I know that it is common for people to feel those emotions but I just hadn't yet.  Part of the reason I think it's cropping up now is that the bills are starting to roll in.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't like to spend money, so the thought of spending money on this dumb cancer that I didn't even want makes me mad!  But like everything that has happened this past month, I can turn it around to a positive.  I am thankful that I have insurance so that we aren't having to pay for everything.  And like my Mom helped me see today, it could be worse...in so many ways.  So even though the tears are cleansing and one has to allow themselves to express their emotions...it's also important to lift the chin up and praise God for all of the good.  So when I feel mad I'm going to focus on being thankful for all of the things I have because God is so very good to me!

Many have wondered how the Look Good, Feel Better class went...it was great!  I urge you to recommend this program to any ladies you know going through cancer.  I learned a lot while receiving lots of great products donated by various companies.  The other lady in the class with me was also an optometrist's wife and Kyle knows her husband who practices in Battle Creek.

Emilie, Averie, my Mom and Alexis joined me on Saturday for some wig shopping.  I didn't purchase anything, still not sure if I will, but it was good to try some on and see what I liked and how it all worked.

Nov. 1st-Day 31

Kyle and I met with the oncologist again today.  As expected, this meeting dealt with the next step of my treatment which is chemotherapy.  Many have wondered why I would still need to do chemo since I had clear lymph nodes & a PET Scan that showed no additional cancer.  I knew the answer to that but I think I needed the doctor to tell me too.  He said that it is to take care of any microscopic cancer cells that weren't seen on the PET Scan throughout my body or anything left behind from the surgery.
On Monday, November 12th I will go for a chemo training session and then have my first treatment on the 13th.  I will need to receive 4 doses of chemo total and they will be given every 3 weeks.

Tonight I go back to the cancer center for a class called Look Good, Feel Better that is offered through the American Cancer Society.  This class is for women going through chemotherapy to give help on skin care, make-up and wigs/ scarves.  Looking forward to what I will learn in this class!

Pastor Appreciation

October is Pastor Appreciation Month.  A chance for church congragations to honor their pastor and thank him for all he does.  As I have thought about my pastor, Don Roscoe, one thing keeps coming to mind.  He prepares us.  What I mean by this is that usually once every year or so he gives a sermon on living life in the midst of difficulty or about overcoming your obstacles.  He has made it very clear to us that trouble is going to come into our lives at some point in time, that's just how life in a fallen world is.  I have had trouble here and there in my life but I always remember listening to those sermons thinking, "well, I can't relate to this right now but I'd better pay attention and take good notes because someday I will need this!".  We were taught not only that obstacles will be a part of life but what to do when they happen.  Something that Pastor Don cautions is not to say "why me" when you face difficulties.  Everyone has trouble in life, why should I think that I would be exempt?  We are taught that we should use the difficulties in life to draw closer to God, to learn about ourselves and to use our experiences to help others.  There is so much more that I have been taught that I am currently putting into action as I go through this difficult time.  I am so thankful to have a pastor who cares for me & has prepared me for the good times as well as the bad.
I saw this quote in a book I was reading last night and it pretty much sums it up.
Don't Forget in the Dark What You've Learned in the Light