Wow! Time flies when your laying around on the couch sleeping on and off for 3 days straight!!! Actually things are going quite well. I never did start taking the Compazine which was my as-needed nausea medicine and I think that helped me feel a little more normal. Kyle was home quite a bit with me on Thursday and Gavin wasn't feeling well Friday & stayed home from school. He and I made a good pair....sleep, watch a movie, eat, sleep, take some meds, sleep. Laura Scott brought a very yummy Chicken and Dumpling Soup for dinner on Thursday night along with a basketful of other goodies-thank you Scott family!! My Mom made me a Tuna Noodle Casserole for Wednesday night. I have not ever made that dish myself but quite often crave my Mom's so I was thankful to get some.
I just realized that I have talked a lot about food, but that's exciting because it means that my nausea hasn't really been an issue despite skipping out on the extra meds!!!
I got to get out for a while this afternoon to go to Gavin's basketball game. I was tired and achy while there but somehow that all fades away when you are watching your son and his buddies tear up the court! Gavin had 9 points including one 3-pointer! I was soooo ready to get home, get back into my comfy clothes and lay down for a while though.
Today felt like a day of extra blessings. My sister Emilie works for a company filled with the most generous & caring people. Her boss Dawn & her husband Larry gave our family a generous gift...the kind that makes you tear up & wonder, again, how you possibly say thank you for such a gift. My friend Nichole gave us a "goodie box" filled with Christmas yummys, my mom-in-law Jill gave us food for dinner tonight and then our mailbox was overflowing (literally) with several packages and cards!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Dec. 5th-Chemo 2, Day 2
Well it's 2 down, 2 to go! Halfway there! Yesterday went well. My Mom went with me again. We arrived at 9am and left at 1:30pm. Another very nice chemo nurse who was funny & helpful. I had a tuna sandwich, jello & chips for lunch. The highlight of the day was a phone call from the Genetics Counselor. She had my results from the genetics testing and was trying to set up an appointment with me. She comes from Notre Dame and is only in B.C. twice a month so I meet with her on Dec. 27th. However, she said that she would go ahead & give me my results over the phone so I wouldn't have to wait all that time. The results were negative!!! There is no mutation found so I do not have that increased risk of breast cancer. Although this is great news, it still makes us scratch our heads as to why we have this major family presence of breast cancer?! I will get to talk with the counselor on the 27th and ask her more of these questions. Had another nice visit with my Aunt Barb on the way home yesterday. Although she doesn't complain at all, it certainly puts things in perspective for me to spend time with her. She is a fighter and a true inspiration! She has a sign on her wall that says, "God doesn't give us what we can handle, He helps us handle what we are given."
Felt pretty good yesterday evening. Was able to take Gavin to practice and Alexis to dance. I had a little nausea but was able to eat the yummy dinner that Susie Butler provided for us last night. Thank you Susie! Last time I started taking my as needed nausea meds (Compazine) on the evening of my chemo day but I didn't feel like I needed it & still haven't taken it. That could change at any time but I am not going to be as quick to use it this time cause I think that caused a lot of my drowsiness and feeling like I couldn't concentrate or focus well. I was up every 2 hours last night to go to the bathroom. They put so much fluids into you by the time you get all the meds! Luckily I was able to fall back to sleep pretty well in between. Today I have my Neulasta shot at 2pm.
I got my wig cut on Monday and have been wearing it now. I really like it, just getting used to having bangs, haven't had bangs in quite a while. So you may see someone around town who looks like me but with a new do! Maybe I will get a picture that I can post on here for those who won't be seeing me around.
Felt pretty good yesterday evening. Was able to take Gavin to practice and Alexis to dance. I had a little nausea but was able to eat the yummy dinner that Susie Butler provided for us last night. Thank you Susie! Last time I started taking my as needed nausea meds (Compazine) on the evening of my chemo day but I didn't feel like I needed it & still haven't taken it. That could change at any time but I am not going to be as quick to use it this time cause I think that caused a lot of my drowsiness and feeling like I couldn't concentrate or focus well. I was up every 2 hours last night to go to the bathroom. They put so much fluids into you by the time you get all the meds! Luckily I was able to fall back to sleep pretty well in between. Today I have my Neulasta shot at 2pm.
I got my wig cut on Monday and have been wearing it now. I really like it, just getting used to having bangs, haven't had bangs in quite a while. So you may see someone around town who looks like me but with a new do! Maybe I will get a picture that I can post on here for those who won't be seeing me around.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Preparing for Round 2!
Jill (Kyle's Mom) and I went to my oncology appointment this morning. First blood work (which has all been normal), a visit with my favorite nurse, Joe, and then some time with the doctor. I found out that I can take Claritin to help (hopefully) with the effects of the Neulasta shot that I had trouble with before. I can also take Tylenol PM or Children's Benedryl to aid in sleeping the first week.
He said that the chemo does have a cumulative effect. Not sure what that will mean for me. But likely the symptoms will be more severe and I could have less "normal" feeling time between treatments. I am feeling down tonight as I am a nervous about heading back in to this. It's kind of nice knowing what to expect (the unknown is always scarier) but because I know what to expect I think I dread it more. I know that I will get through it with God's help and the support & prayers of all of you. It's such a small amount of time in the whole scheme of things & so temporary.
My Mom shared this verse with me tonight. She reminded me that I had given her this same verse 10 years ago when she was fighting her own battle with cancer.
Isaiah 40:31 But those who trust in the Lord will become strong again. They will rise up as an eagle in the sky; they will run and not need rest; they will walk and not become tired.
He said that the chemo does have a cumulative effect. Not sure what that will mean for me. But likely the symptoms will be more severe and I could have less "normal" feeling time between treatments. I am feeling down tonight as I am a nervous about heading back in to this. It's kind of nice knowing what to expect (the unknown is always scarier) but because I know what to expect I think I dread it more. I know that I will get through it with God's help and the support & prayers of all of you. It's such a small amount of time in the whole scheme of things & so temporary.
My Mom shared this verse with me tonight. She reminded me that I had given her this same verse 10 years ago when she was fighting her own battle with cancer.
Isaiah 40:31 But those who trust in the Lord will become strong again. They will rise up as an eagle in the sky; they will run and not need rest; they will walk and not become tired.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Dec. 1-Chemo Day 19
Well this will be like the fourth day without my hair. Things have gone well. Yesterday morning I went to the school to make popcorn. I was so excited about getting to do that as it had been a while since I could. But as I was leaving my driveway I got a sick feeling my stomach and felt like I was not ready to. But then that strength comes and I not only spend the morning making popcorn but I went to lunch at Goodtime Pizza with my friend Dianna.
My wig came on Thursday. It is beautiful and just perfect for me. I do need trimming/thinning done on it as it goes into my eyes quite badly. So until that gets done I don't think I can wear it. I have a couple of calls in to people who can help me figure out where to go to have that done.
In the meantime I can wear it a bit around the house to begin getting used to it. Speaking of around the house...I always thought I would have a hat or something on at all times even when at home. But after wearing a hat or scarf out and about the first thing I want to do when I get home is whip them off! Even the most comfy hat or scarf gets itchy & tight after a while. So far my family hasn't protested about my baldness around the house. I guess I wouldn't care much if they did...one of them gets to be bald 24/7 and none of the rest of us have ever complained:)
My highlight so far in this "hairless" journey was last night. I went out to dinner with my good friends, Kelly & Mindy. As we were pulling out of the driveway Kelly stops the car and pulls out two hats. She says that in order to make me feel more comfortable for the evening she had brought some hats for her and Mindy to wear (poor Mindy, she has had no say in this matter) and proceeds to put on a beanie hat that has several tentacles coming off of it that light up (see picture below). She passes Mindy a shark hat & instructs her to put it on. We were all laughing so hard and it was so amazing that she thought of me in that way and wanted to do something to make me feel comfortable! When we arrived at Clara's on the River I made it very clear that they did not have to wear their hats inside (it would have been a little embarrassing) and I think Mindy was relieved:)
Kelly insisted that they at least take them inside with them...just in case! Once we got home Kelly's son took a picture of us. I even got to wear a mohawk hat. Love my friends & family for making this all so easy!!!
My wig came on Thursday. It is beautiful and just perfect for me. I do need trimming/thinning done on it as it goes into my eyes quite badly. So until that gets done I don't think I can wear it. I have a couple of calls in to people who can help me figure out where to go to have that done.
In the meantime I can wear it a bit around the house to begin getting used to it. Speaking of around the house...I always thought I would have a hat or something on at all times even when at home. But after wearing a hat or scarf out and about the first thing I want to do when I get home is whip them off! Even the most comfy hat or scarf gets itchy & tight after a while. So far my family hasn't protested about my baldness around the house. I guess I wouldn't care much if they did...one of them gets to be bald 24/7 and none of the rest of us have ever complained:)
My highlight so far in this "hairless" journey was last night. I went out to dinner with my good friends, Kelly & Mindy. As we were pulling out of the driveway Kelly stops the car and pulls out two hats. She says that in order to make me feel more comfortable for the evening she had brought some hats for her and Mindy to wear (poor Mindy, she has had no say in this matter) and proceeds to put on a beanie hat that has several tentacles coming off of it that light up (see picture below). She passes Mindy a shark hat & instructs her to put it on. We were all laughing so hard and it was so amazing that she thought of me in that way and wanted to do something to make me feel comfortable! When we arrived at Clara's on the River I made it very clear that they did not have to wear their hats inside (it would have been a little embarrassing) and I think Mindy was relieved:)
Kelly insisted that they at least take them inside with them...just in case! Once we got home Kelly's son took a picture of us. I even got to wear a mohawk hat. Love my friends & family for making this all so easy!!!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Bald Is The New Beautiful-Continued
Due to technical difficulties I wasn't able to finish that post...
The biggest surprise about having no hair is how cold your head is when you have no hair! Now I feel bad for Kyle in the winter:). I am glad I have nothing going on today. It is nice to have some time to process this myself before going out in public. Not looking forward to the looks of sympathy or the stares that are bound to come. I am really ok with this so I want everyone else to feel comfortable about it too. My sister sent me a link to an article about embracing your hair loss situation. I liked the article because I want to look at this in a positive way and not be depressed about it. My wig has been shipped and should be here any day! I also got to try on all of my hats and scarves this morning...it's so much easier to try them on with no hair to wrestle with. I get to put away my brushes, hairspray and hair dryer. And guess how long it took me to get ready this morning?! I am so thankful that God has given me a strength that I didn't even know I had, he is so good to me! Thank you to all of the friends & family that were praying me through my "hair-cut". I am truly blessed.
The biggest surprise about having no hair is how cold your head is when you have no hair! Now I feel bad for Kyle in the winter:). I am glad I have nothing going on today. It is nice to have some time to process this myself before going out in public. Not looking forward to the looks of sympathy or the stares that are bound to come. I am really ok with this so I want everyone else to feel comfortable about it too. My sister sent me a link to an article about embracing your hair loss situation. I liked the article because I want to look at this in a positive way and not be depressed about it. My wig has been shipped and should be here any day! I also got to try on all of my hats and scarves this morning...it's so much easier to try them on with no hair to wrestle with. I get to put away my brushes, hairspray and hair dryer. And guess how long it took me to get ready this morning?! I am so thankful that God has given me a strength that I didn't even know I had, he is so good to me! Thank you to all of the friends & family that were praying me through my "hair-cut". I am truly blessed.
Bald Is The New Beautiful
This title comes from one of the posters that hang on my bathroom mirror right now. Yesterday the kids and I made 6 posters to hang up around the mirror that would help me once my hair was gone. I have to share because my kids are amazing! My posters said, "It's Only Hair!" and "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, Phil. 4:13". Lexi's posters say, "You Will Still Look Good!" and "We Love You Even Though You Are Bald!". Gavin's say, "Bald Is The New Beautiful" and "People Shouldn't Judge by Hair, They Should Judge by Heart!"
On Sunday morning my hair started really coming out. In the shower and while blow-drying especially. On Monday it was coming out in handfuls in the shower, while brushing it (even though I was really careful) and again while blow-drying. I was contemplating cutting it all off on Monday night but I just wasn't really ready yet. Tuesday morning was a different story though. I was washing my hair and it was coming out faster than I could wash it! I just kept thinking, "this is SO silly, why am I doing this?!?!". So I wrote an e-mail to myself & Kyle, just in case I needed something to read later on to remind myself why I was getting rid of my hair. Here is a part of that e-mail: "It was so silly & senseless to try & wash my hair in the shower today. My hair came out faster than I could even shampoo & condition it! I could feel it flowing down my back. It was caught between my toes and covering my arms. There was sooooo much more hair than yesterday so I can't imagine what tomorrow will be like. But I won't have to know because I'm done...done with trying to pretend that maybe it's not really going to come out. It is coming out and looking at myself in the mirror while brushing my hair is all I have to remember! I have been preparing myself for this for almost 2 months now...there is no use in waiting anymore. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
So after Kyle & Gavin got home from basketball practice we set up shop in our bedroom where we also watched The Voice on TV. Alexis got to have a turn at first cutting my hair with the scissors. She had a blast. My favorite was when she said, "oops, I messed up!". Gavin had a turn with the scissors too. I looked in the mirror a couple of times and we took a couple of pictures. It was actually fun giggling at the funny looks of my hair while it was coming off. Then Kyle & the kids took turns using the buzz clippers to finish the deal. I warned them that I might cry (I really thought I was going to when I felt of my head for the first time) but I never did.
On Sunday morning my hair started really coming out. In the shower and while blow-drying especially. On Monday it was coming out in handfuls in the shower, while brushing it (even though I was really careful) and again while blow-drying. I was contemplating cutting it all off on Monday night but I just wasn't really ready yet. Tuesday morning was a different story though. I was washing my hair and it was coming out faster than I could wash it! I just kept thinking, "this is SO silly, why am I doing this?!?!". So I wrote an e-mail to myself & Kyle, just in case I needed something to read later on to remind myself why I was getting rid of my hair. Here is a part of that e-mail: "It was so silly & senseless to try & wash my hair in the shower today. My hair came out faster than I could even shampoo & condition it! I could feel it flowing down my back. It was caught between my toes and covering my arms. There was sooooo much more hair than yesterday so I can't imagine what tomorrow will be like. But I won't have to know because I'm done...done with trying to pretend that maybe it's not really going to come out. It is coming out and looking at myself in the mirror while brushing my hair is all I have to remember! I have been preparing myself for this for almost 2 months now...there is no use in waiting anymore. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
So after Kyle & Gavin got home from basketball practice we set up shop in our bedroom where we also watched The Voice on TV. Alexis got to have a turn at first cutting my hair with the scissors. She had a blast. My favorite was when she said, "oops, I messed up!". Gavin had a turn with the scissors too. I looked in the mirror a couple of times and we took a couple of pictures. It was actually fun giggling at the funny looks of my hair while it was coming off. Then Kyle & the kids took turns using the buzz clippers to finish the deal. I warned them that I might cry (I really thought I was going to when I felt of my head for the first time) but I never did.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Nov. 25-Chemo Day 13
Wow! What a great 4 days it has been since I wrote last. I felt great on Thnksgiving as we traveled to my sister's home for a yummy meal and lots of nice family time. Then my mom, sister & I went out to Target & Wal-mart that night for some pre-Black Friday shopping. We slept from midnight to 6:30am and then headed back out for a long day of shopping. It felt really good to get lots of Christmas shopping accomplished! I was tired on Friday night but not much more than I would have been any other year.
Getting ready for church this morning was interesting. I realized after blowing dry my hair that the counter in front of me was covered with hair! No large clumps that are noticeable on my head but it's coming out nonetheless. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
As I write this I am eating a bowl of ice cream with a brownie. My nutrition counselor (a.k.a. my sister-in-law Erin) would not be happy to hear that. It was so easy to eat healthy when my stomach was unsettled but now that I feel so good, I am straying from my healthy eating plan. I am thankful to Erin who has taken the time to give me some healthy snack ideas that give me the protein that I need. I lost a few pounds during the first week after chemo so I guess this bowl of ice cream will just help me put those pounds back on! Thank you also to my fellow cancer survivor, Teri, and her Green Tea suggestion. I actually like it and look forward to having some each day.
This week brings a large to-do list as I have lots to accomplish before my next treatment on Dec. 4th. I am working on getting Christmas cards finished, wrapping presents and many other responsibilities. I am very thankful to have this time in between treatments to feel normal and be able to do things!
Getting ready for church this morning was interesting. I realized after blowing dry my hair that the counter in front of me was covered with hair! No large clumps that are noticeable on my head but it's coming out nonetheless. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
As I write this I am eating a bowl of ice cream with a brownie. My nutrition counselor (a.k.a. my sister-in-law Erin) would not be happy to hear that. It was so easy to eat healthy when my stomach was unsettled but now that I feel so good, I am straying from my healthy eating plan. I am thankful to Erin who has taken the time to give me some healthy snack ideas that give me the protein that I need. I lost a few pounds during the first week after chemo so I guess this bowl of ice cream will just help me put those pounds back on! Thank you also to my fellow cancer survivor, Teri, and her Green Tea suggestion. I actually like it and look forward to having some each day.
This week brings a large to-do list as I have lots to accomplish before my next treatment on Dec. 4th. I am working on getting Christmas cards finished, wrapping presents and many other responsibilities. I am very thankful to have this time in between treatments to feel normal and be able to do things!
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