Patience

Wow, what a week it's been!  Crazy weather, closed school and I have not been feeling well since Sunday night.  At first I thought I was getting the flu.  I had aches all over my body & a low-grade fever (between 99.8-100.4).  The fever was not quite high enough to call the after hours number at the cancer center so I waited it out.  Monday morning the fever was gone so I took some pain reliever to be more comfortable.  Monday night the fever was back along with being super achy.  So I called the cancer center on Tuesday morning & talked with one of the nurses.  Based on my description she suspected that my white blood cell count had dropped too low.  This made the Neulasta shot kick into high gear, thus the achy body (you may remember that this shot helps in the production of white blood cells) and that my body was trying to fight off something.  What is unclear is whether I actually had some sort of infection somewhere or if all of this was just due to a drop in counts.  So after she checked with the doctor, they decided to put me on a prophylactic antibiotic (prophylactic meaning preventative...not to be confused with birth control; I won't name any names but I had to clarify that for one of my friends so I thought I should clarify here as well:)
I started on the antibiotic last night.  Really hoping to find some relief from feeling cruddy!

I started crying Monday night and told Kyle how I was so frustrated with my recovery.  I think somewhere in my mind I just thought, "I'm done with chemo, therefore I should feel good & normal".  He reminded me of the cumulative effect that the chemo can have & that it is going to take time.  The next morning my Mom said the same thing.  She told how she had a pretty smooth time all during her chemo but then had some struggles after she was finished.  I am not the most patient person in the world so must be God is trying to help me out in that area:)  I know in my mind that I need to be patient; everything will eventually subside.  If you are praying for me, you could pray that I would accept that & that I will be patient with my body.

Huge blessings yesterday!  When I checked Facebook in the morning, Sarah Byers had written a message stating that she wanted to bring us dinner for Tuesday night.  This was out of the blue, I had no idea she was planning on this and boy, was I relieved & thankful.  I had planned to get groceries on Monday but I didn't feel well & the roads were bad anyways.  So the cupboards were getting bare & Sarah's offer was very helpful.  She arrived with Chicken Tortilla Soup complete with tortilla chips, cheese & sour cream.  Also a plate of brownies topped with little pink heart-shaped marshmallows (thanks to Cadence).  It was very yummy & a great lesson that God always provides!  Also need to thank Dianna Finkler who watched the kids yesterday (who had a 2nd day off of school this week due to weather) while I went to an appointment & did lab work.  While I am thanking Dianna, I must also mention that she has been the one to coordinate all of the meals that were brought in during surgery recovery & throughout chemo.  She is a gem and I am so thankful for her kindness!

So as I sit here on the couch, I think about all of the things I want to accomplish here at home today.  I know that I will need to pace myself & rest in between tasks.  I will try remember that none of it HAS to be done & that being patient with my body is most important.  I also trust that God will be with me during this recovery time, just as he has been every step of the way so far.