Dec. 1-Chemo Day 19

Well this will be like the fourth day without my hair.  Things have gone well.  Yesterday morning I went to the school to make popcorn.  I was so excited about getting to do that as it had been a while since I could.  But as I was leaving my driveway I got a sick feeling my stomach and felt like I was not ready to.  But then that strength comes and I not only spend the morning making popcorn but I went to lunch at Goodtime Pizza with my friend Dianna.
My wig came on Thursday.  It is beautiful and just perfect for me.  I do need trimming/thinning done on it as it goes into my eyes quite badly.  So until that gets done I don't think I can wear it.  I have a couple of calls in to people who can help me figure out where to go to have that done.
In the meantime I can wear it a bit around the house to begin getting used to it.  Speaking of around the house...I always thought I would have a hat or something on at all times even when at home.  But after wearing a hat or scarf out and about the first thing I want to do when I get home is whip them off!  Even the most comfy hat or scarf gets itchy & tight after a while.  So far my family hasn't protested about my baldness around the house.  I guess I wouldn't care much if they did...one of them gets to be bald 24/7 and none of the rest of us have ever complained:)
My highlight so far in this "hairless" journey was last night.  I went out to dinner with my good friends, Kelly & Mindy.  As we were pulling out of the driveway Kelly stops the car and pulls out two hats.  She says that in order to make me feel more comfortable for the evening she had brought some hats for her and Mindy to wear (poor Mindy, she has had no say in this matter) and proceeds to put on a beanie hat that has several tentacles coming off of it that light up (see picture below).  She passes Mindy a shark hat & instructs her to put it on.  We were all laughing so hard and it was so amazing that she thought of me in that way and wanted to do something to make me feel comfortable!  When we arrived at Clara's on the River I made it very clear that they did not have to wear their hats inside (it would have been a little embarrassing) and I think Mindy was relieved:)
Kelly insisted that they at least take them inside with them...just in case!  Once we got home Kelly's son took a picture of us.  I even got to wear a mohawk hat.  Love my friends & family for making this all so easy!!!

Bald Is The New Beautiful-Continued

Due to technical difficulties I wasn't able to finish that post...
The biggest surprise about having no hair is how cold your head is when you have no hair!  Now I feel bad for Kyle in the winter:).  I am glad I have nothing going on today.  It is nice to have some time to process this myself before going out in public.  Not looking forward to the looks of sympathy or the stares that are bound to come.  I am really ok with this so I want everyone else to feel comfortable about it too.  My sister sent me a link to an article about embracing your hair loss situation.  I liked the article because I want to look at this in a positive way and not be depressed about it.  My wig has been shipped and should be here any day!  I also got to try on all of my hats and scarves this morning...it's so much easier to try them on with no hair to wrestle with.  I get to put away my brushes, hairspray and hair dryer.  And guess how long it took me to get ready this morning?!  I am so thankful that God has given me a strength that I didn't even know I had, he is so good to me!  Thank you to all of the friends & family that were praying me through my "hair-cut".  I am truly blessed.

Bald Is The New Beautiful

This title comes from one of the posters that hang on my bathroom mirror right now.  Yesterday the kids and I made 6 posters to hang up around the mirror that would help me once my hair was gone.  I have to share because my kids are amazing!  My posters said, "It's Only Hair!" and "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, Phil. 4:13".  Lexi's posters say, "You Will Still Look Good!" and "We Love You Even Though You Are Bald!". Gavin's say, "Bald Is The New Beautiful" and "People Shouldn't Judge by Hair, They Should Judge by Heart!"

On Sunday morning my hair started really coming out.  In the shower and while blow-drying especially.  On Monday it was coming out in handfuls in the shower, while brushing it (even though I was really careful) and again while blow-drying.  I was contemplating cutting it all off on Monday night but I just wasn't really ready yet.  Tuesday morning was a different story though.  I was washing my hair and it was coming out faster than I could wash it!  I just kept thinking, "this is SO silly, why am I doing this?!?!". So I wrote an e-mail to myself & Kyle, just in case I needed something to read later on to remind myself why I was getting rid of my hair.  Here is a part of that e-mail:  "It was so silly & senseless to try & wash my hair in the shower today.  My hair came out faster than I could even shampoo & condition it!  I could feel it flowing down my back.  It was caught between my toes and covering my arms.  There was sooooo much more hair than yesterday so I can't imagine what tomorrow will be like.  But I won't have to know because I'm done...done with trying to pretend that maybe it's not really going to come out.  It is coming out and looking at myself in the mirror while brushing my hair is all I have to remember!  I have been preparing myself for this for almost 2 months now...there is no use in waiting anymore.  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

So after Kyle & Gavin got home from basketball practice we set up shop in our bedroom where we also watched The Voice on TV.  Alexis got to have a turn at first cutting my hair with the scissors.  She had a blast.  My favorite was when she said, "oops, I messed up!". Gavin had a turn with the scissors too.  I looked in the mirror a couple of times and we took a couple of pictures.  It was actually fun giggling at the funny looks of my hair while it was coming off.  Then Kyle & the kids took turns using the buzz clippers to finish the deal.  I warned them that I might cry (I really thought I was going to when I felt of my head for the first time) but I never did.

Nov. 25-Chemo Day 13

Wow!  What a great 4 days it has been since I wrote last.  I felt great on Thnksgiving as we traveled to my sister's home for a yummy meal and lots of nice family time.  Then my mom, sister & I went out to Target & Wal-mart that night for some pre-Black Friday shopping.  We slept from midnight to 6:30am and then headed back out for a long day of shopping.  It felt really good to get lots of Christmas shopping accomplished!  I was tired on Friday night but not much more than I would have been any other year.
Getting ready for church this morning was interesting.  I realized after blowing dry my hair that the counter in front of me was covered with hair!  No large clumps that are noticeable on my head but it's coming out nonetheless.  We'll see what tomorrow brings.
As I write this I am eating a bowl of ice cream with a brownie.  My nutrition counselor (a.k.a. my sister-in-law Erin) would not be happy to hear that.  It was so easy to eat healthy when my stomach was unsettled but now that I feel so good, I am straying from my healthy eating plan.  I am thankful to Erin who has taken the time to give me some healthy snack ideas that give me the protein that I need.  I lost a few pounds during the first week after chemo so I guess this bowl of ice cream will just help me put those pounds back on!  Thank you also to my fellow cancer survivor, Teri, and her Green Tea suggestion.  I actually like it and look forward to having some each day.
This week brings a large to-do list as I have lots to accomplish before my next treatment on Dec. 4th. I am working on getting Christmas cards finished, wrapping presents and many other responsibilities.  I am very thankful to have this time in between treatments to feel normal and be able to do things!