Last blog post of 2012! Well as usual, the last few days have passed in a blur of sleeping & lounging around as I recover from my third chemo treatment. So far everything has gone as expected. No weird surprise side effects or issues. As usual we have been blessed by great people who want to make our life easier during this time. Thursday evening Mindy Schriver brought a roast for dinner, something my family hardly ever gets...they were pleased! On Friday, Jill took me to Battle Creek for my Neulasta shot and my friend, Kim Ripley, provided a yummy Mac & Cheese w/ham for dinner. Kyle also brought home dinner items given by the staff at Eaton Rapids Eye Care...looking forward to eating the lasagna tonight for dinner! Sunday evening Mom & Dad Booher came over to spend some time with us before they head back to Florida. Jill brought homemade chicken noodle soup, it was exactly what sounded good to me last night. Definitely NOT looking forward to having them gone for the next few months but I joked that at least I should have some hair by the time they get back!
Due to my recovering from chemo, it looks as if we'll probably stay in tonight. Not sure what that will look like exactly but I do know that I will be with my most favorite people. I will also be reflecting on the blessings of the past year-there is SO much to be thankful for!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Chemo #3 Day!
As I write this I sit at the Cancer Center at Bronson Battle Creek having my third chemo out of four. Things are going well. Kyle took the day off to come with me, his first time of being here for chemo. It hasn't been too boring. I spent the first 1/2 hour sending out e-mails. Then the genetics counselor came and met with us. Nothing new regarding my genetics testing. She had given me the results over the phone but needed to do it formally in person. The two genes they tested have no mutations detected. She said there are other genes that could carry a mutation but they don't have testing for those yet...someday maybe.
Then shortly after she left, my Mom & Dad came in with Gavin & Alexis. We decided it was a good time for them to see the cancer center & check out how chemo works. They were also going to lunch. They didn't seem overly impressed with the workings of chemo but then again it's not really that exciting. Just a lot of sitting around:)
Kyle packed his lunch & I had an egg salad sandwich that they brought around. He's breezed through his magazines so I think I need to finish up this blog so he can use the iPad...otherwise he might fall asleep on me!
Speaking of sleep, I woke up at 4:30a.m. and never got back to sleep. This was after waking at 1:45a.m. roasting hot and waking at around 2 something and 3 something as well. At first I was puzzled as to why and then I remembered the Decodron that I take the night before chemo and the night of chemo. Not sure how I had forgotten but each time I have done the same thing...funny how 3 weeks is just long enough to forget some things:). So back to the 4:30a.m. thing...I laid there and tried to go back to sleep for an hour. At 5:30 I had given up so I got up. I sat in the living room & read my scripture book from my Aunt Loretta. Then I decided to de-ornament the tree & take it down. Funny what you can accomplish by 8a.m.!!
Christmas came and went rather quickly! It was a good one for us, nice and simple but full of family, food and fun. The kids are quite content with their goodies and I was excited (probably too much so) about my 20 piece Pyrex glass storage set from Kyle. We took some special pictures in front of the Christmas tree.
Then shortly after she left, my Mom & Dad came in with Gavin & Alexis. We decided it was a good time for them to see the cancer center & check out how chemo works. They were also going to lunch. They didn't seem overly impressed with the workings of chemo but then again it's not really that exciting. Just a lot of sitting around:)
Kyle packed his lunch & I had an egg salad sandwich that they brought around. He's breezed through his magazines so I think I need to finish up this blog so he can use the iPad...otherwise he might fall asleep on me!
Speaking of sleep, I woke up at 4:30a.m. and never got back to sleep. This was after waking at 1:45a.m. roasting hot and waking at around 2 something and 3 something as well. At first I was puzzled as to why and then I remembered the Decodron that I take the night before chemo and the night of chemo. Not sure how I had forgotten but each time I have done the same thing...funny how 3 weeks is just long enough to forget some things:). So back to the 4:30a.m. thing...I laid there and tried to go back to sleep for an hour. At 5:30 I had given up so I got up. I sat in the living room & read my scripture book from my Aunt Loretta. Then I decided to de-ornament the tree & take it down. Funny what you can accomplish by 8a.m.!!
Christmas came and went rather quickly! It was a good one for us, nice and simple but full of family, food and fun. The kids are quite content with their goodies and I was excited (probably too much so) about my 20 piece Pyrex glass storage set from Kyle. We took some special pictures in front of the Christmas tree.
Monday, December 24, 2012
The Box
We had an experience this week that just blew us away! It was a gift to us by people who we will never be able to thank personally...because we don't know who they are. We only know that they are from "the community and beyond". Pastor Don delivered this box on Thursday and said I had to wait until Kyle could open it with me. So that night after being out late for Gavin's scrimmage in Charlotte, we gathered around as a family and opened the box. Our jaws dropped, we were caught by surprise and truly amazed at the number of gift cards (46) in all different amounts and from all different places. Lots of gas cards which will come in very handy when I am driving to Battle Creek everyday for radiation this Spring. Lots of Meijer & Wal-Mart cards, many restaurant cards and some Visa cards. Wow! We were at a loss for words but before the kids headed off to bed we took some time to pray. Kyle prayed that each person who had contributed to the box would be blessed because of their kindness. It is a prayer I still say when I look at the box. People can say all the negatives they want about our little community. I've been caught expressing some negative attitudes before in my life, but my cancer experience has taught me so much. This Maple Valley community is really just a big family and the people are kind and caring and generous. I know we feel fortunate to live here and raise our children here. So if you are reading this and you had a part in this gift to us...we say thank you and may God bless you!
Another thing that happened this week that shows how our community is a family was when I went to the pharmacy. I was picking up the meds needed for my next chemo treatment. I paid and was about to walk away when Jody, the pharmacist, stopped me and said they were going to need an update on what was going on with me because people ask them all the time. She said in fact 2 people had asked them just that day. So after giving her a quick update I was on my way feeling SO cared for by our community!
So on this Christmas Eve day, I find myself feeling a little more thankful, a little more blessed and a little more in love with a God who not only provides for us but puts wonderful people in our lives. I hope that you will think of Him in these next couple of days and reflect on what Christmas really means.
This verse was inside our box:
1Peter 4:9-13. "Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."
Another thing that happened this week that shows how our community is a family was when I went to the pharmacy. I was picking up the meds needed for my next chemo treatment. I paid and was about to walk away when Jody, the pharmacist, stopped me and said they were going to need an update on what was going on with me because people ask them all the time. She said in fact 2 people had asked them just that day. So after giving her a quick update I was on my way feeling SO cared for by our community!
So on this Christmas Eve day, I find myself feeling a little more thankful, a little more blessed and a little more in love with a God who not only provides for us but puts wonderful people in our lives. I hope that you will think of Him in these next couple of days and reflect on what Christmas really means.
This verse was inside our box:
1Peter 4:9-13. "Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."
Thursday, December 20, 2012
The Proposal
Not much to report here! Feeling great and preparing for Christmas of course. On Dec. 26th I do blood work and see the oncologist. On the 27th I have my next chemo treatment. But since today is December 20th, I decided to tell you a little story...a proposal story!
18 years ago on this day, Kyle proposed to me! I was an 18 year old just 4 months into my freshman year of college. He was 19 and a sophomore. He lured me to his house, somehow. I seem to remember him claiming he was sick & wanted me to come over & hang out instead of going to the varsity basketball game in Pennfield. So I get to his house (in Vermontville) and he comes downstairs all dressed up and has flowers for me. I was sitting in a chair in the living room, his dog Vinnie was sitting by my side looking for attention. I remember being shocked at the fact that he was 'supposed' to be sick but yet he was dressed up and giving me flowers!? He got down on one knee in front of me and said lots of wonderful things and asked me to marry him! (I always wished I had a recording or something to remember exactly what he said) The ring was beautiful, a heart-shaped diamond that I had admired when we had looked at engagement rings for fun one day. Kyle worked very hard at Bob Evans and Big Boy during that first year and a half of college to make enough money for that ring. This was a great indication to me of what a hard worker and provider he was. I was the happiest girl ever (still am)! The plan for the evening had been that I would pick up my brother from basketball practice and we would head to the varsity game in Pennfield where our families all were. We didn't want to walk into the game and tell everyone and have it be a big scene, but we didn't want to go to the game and pretend nothing had happened cause we were so excited. So we picked up Lee and headed to Charlotte. We ate dinner at Wendy's (remember we were starving college students) and went to see The Santa Claus at the theater in Charlotte. We were waiting at my parents' house when they returned home from the game. They weren't too happy because they were really worried about us and why we hadn't arrived at the game. This was before cell phones!! But after we told them our news they were excited and all was well.
A lot of people thought we were too young to be engaged...and we probably were. I know it wouldn't be my first choice to have Gavin engaged at 18 or 19. But we were confident in our love for each other and just knew that we wanted to be together, forever. We had a long engagement (18 months) and got married on Aug. 10th, 2006. Our vows included the traditional, "for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live" (not sure if I have that all correct, just going from memory). We've been through a lot since saying these vows 16 years ago. But I know we've only experienced just a fraction of what God has in store for us. He is so good to us and has seen us through some wonderful times and through some rough and trying times. The thing is, we're never promised that life will be perfect (although most of the time it seems pretty close to it) but we are promised that God will walk together with us and give us what we need. I am very thankful that God has blessed me with Kyle. He is an amazing man who loves God, loves me, loves his children. He lives everyday in a way that demonstrates honesty, love, trust and integrity. As I have told his parents several times, I am thankful for the fact that they raised a man who upholds all of these characteristics. So especially during this cancer journey, I am blessed to have Kyle right there with me every step of the way. He is rooting for me and appreciating my baldness in the same way I have appreciated his for many years now:)
Thank you Kyle for asking me to be your wife 18 years ago, I love you!
18 years ago on this day, Kyle proposed to me! I was an 18 year old just 4 months into my freshman year of college. He was 19 and a sophomore. He lured me to his house, somehow. I seem to remember him claiming he was sick & wanted me to come over & hang out instead of going to the varsity basketball game in Pennfield. So I get to his house (in Vermontville) and he comes downstairs all dressed up and has flowers for me. I was sitting in a chair in the living room, his dog Vinnie was sitting by my side looking for attention. I remember being shocked at the fact that he was 'supposed' to be sick but yet he was dressed up and giving me flowers!? He got down on one knee in front of me and said lots of wonderful things and asked me to marry him! (I always wished I had a recording or something to remember exactly what he said) The ring was beautiful, a heart-shaped diamond that I had admired when we had looked at engagement rings for fun one day. Kyle worked very hard at Bob Evans and Big Boy during that first year and a half of college to make enough money for that ring. This was a great indication to me of what a hard worker and provider he was. I was the happiest girl ever (still am)! The plan for the evening had been that I would pick up my brother from basketball practice and we would head to the varsity game in Pennfield where our families all were. We didn't want to walk into the game and tell everyone and have it be a big scene, but we didn't want to go to the game and pretend nothing had happened cause we were so excited. So we picked up Lee and headed to Charlotte. We ate dinner at Wendy's (remember we were starving college students) and went to see The Santa Claus at the theater in Charlotte. We were waiting at my parents' house when they returned home from the game. They weren't too happy because they were really worried about us and why we hadn't arrived at the game. This was before cell phones!! But after we told them our news they were excited and all was well.
A lot of people thought we were too young to be engaged...and we probably were. I know it wouldn't be my first choice to have Gavin engaged at 18 or 19. But we were confident in our love for each other and just knew that we wanted to be together, forever. We had a long engagement (18 months) and got married on Aug. 10th, 2006. Our vows included the traditional, "for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live" (not sure if I have that all correct, just going from memory). We've been through a lot since saying these vows 16 years ago. But I know we've only experienced just a fraction of what God has in store for us. He is so good to us and has seen us through some wonderful times and through some rough and trying times. The thing is, we're never promised that life will be perfect (although most of the time it seems pretty close to it) but we are promised that God will walk together with us and give us what we need. I am very thankful that God has blessed me with Kyle. He is an amazing man who loves God, loves me, loves his children. He lives everyday in a way that demonstrates honesty, love, trust and integrity. As I have told his parents several times, I am thankful for the fact that they raised a man who upholds all of these characteristics. So especially during this cancer journey, I am blessed to have Kyle right there with me every step of the way. He is rooting for me and appreciating my baldness in the same way I have appreciated his for many years now:)
Thank you Kyle for asking me to be your wife 18 years ago, I love you!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Dec. 16-Chemo 2, Day 13
As I sit here after church I am reflecting on how thankful I am for my church family. The amount of people who seek me out, young & old, friend or merely an acquaintance is amazing to me. They ask how I am and let me know that they are praying for me. How lucky am I to have not only the family I was born into, but also my family at Grace Church!
I am back to my normal self. Eating whatever I want (always scary around the holidays), staying up till 11-11:30pm (rather than fall asleep on the couch at 9pm) and not taking any meds for nausea or pain (bring on the vitamin C though). I even walked with the library in Nashville's Christmas Parade yesterday! Speaking of yesterday...it was Lexi's 9th birthday!!! She had the privilege of being a Christmas tree in the parade yesterday along with her friends Anna & Paige. We went to Gavin's basketball game which resulted in a last second win & sky high blood pressure for all involved. Then lunch at Goodtime Pizza with the whole family who gave Alexis some very nice gifts. Our last stop was for the 3pm showing of the Nutcracker at The Revue in Nashville. I know she had a wonderful day but she woke up this morning asking if there were any more parties for her today?! Sorry child, it's all we've got for this year:)
There have been so many instances over these last two months where I have said to Kyle or just to myself, "I will gladly take this breast cancer over what this person is going through or what that person is dealing with". Friday's tragedy in Sandy Hook, CT is no exception. Chemotherapy and no hair are a minor inconvenience compared to the heart wrenching loss of a child. I pray that these families will look to God to bring them through this difficult time. May they receive His peace and strength each and every day.
I am back to my normal self. Eating whatever I want (always scary around the holidays), staying up till 11-11:30pm (rather than fall asleep on the couch at 9pm) and not taking any meds for nausea or pain (bring on the vitamin C though). I even walked with the library in Nashville's Christmas Parade yesterday! Speaking of yesterday...it was Lexi's 9th birthday!!! She had the privilege of being a Christmas tree in the parade yesterday along with her friends Anna & Paige. We went to Gavin's basketball game which resulted in a last second win & sky high blood pressure for all involved. Then lunch at Goodtime Pizza with the whole family who gave Alexis some very nice gifts. Our last stop was for the 3pm showing of the Nutcracker at The Revue in Nashville. I know she had a wonderful day but she woke up this morning asking if there were any more parties for her today?! Sorry child, it's all we've got for this year:)
There have been so many instances over these last two months where I have said to Kyle or just to myself, "I will gladly take this breast cancer over what this person is going through or what that person is dealing with". Friday's tragedy in Sandy Hook, CT is no exception. Chemotherapy and no hair are a minor inconvenience compared to the heart wrenching loss of a child. I pray that these families will look to God to bring them through this difficult time. May they receive His peace and strength each and every day.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Halfway There!
Day 8 of 2nd chemo and I'm feeling good! I'm a little cautious to say this but I think the 2nd round was easier than the first. Maybe I just knew more of what to expect, maybe I had already experienced it once so it seemed like a piece of cake...either way I am thanking God for it! One thing that I was really curious about was what my effects would be from the Neulasta shot this time. You may remember that on Day 7 last time I had lower back pain & spasms that kicked my butt. Well I had some pain yesterday but it wasn't nearly as bad. I had been taking Claritin to help with this and I also decided to keep moving because sitting still seemed to make it worse. I also started alternating the ibuprofen and Tylenol right away when the pain started coming on. I guess I will never know if any one thing did the trick but you can be sure I will be doing all those same things next time!
Today was blood work day. It was a beautiful drive into Hastings with the snow softly falling. The lady helping me in the lab told me to have a Merry Christmas and I said, "oh, don't worry, I'll be back here next week!". Then Kyle's Mom & I met with his Aunt for some nice chatting and yummy lunch at Applebee's. She is only a few steps behind me in her breast cancer journey so we of course talked non-stop about all things oncology. So besides getting to talk with Janice today, I talked briefly with Olivia Sprague last night. She is a young lady from Nashville who is also currently undergoing chemotherapy treatments. There is really a lot of truth in the saying: Misery Loves Company. Just talking with others who are in a similar place as I am makes me feel less alone.
I have avoided watching the show Parenthood ever since Kristina was diagnosed with breast cancer back in September. I watch the previews to see what's up with her but haven't watched a show-until tonight. Of course I pick the show where she gets sick, winds up in the hospital and makes video messages for her children. Probably not a good idea, but thankfully my life isn't a Hollywood drama!
Today was blood work day. It was a beautiful drive into Hastings with the snow softly falling. The lady helping me in the lab told me to have a Merry Christmas and I said, "oh, don't worry, I'll be back here next week!". Then Kyle's Mom & I met with his Aunt for some nice chatting and yummy lunch at Applebee's. She is only a few steps behind me in her breast cancer journey so we of course talked non-stop about all things oncology. So besides getting to talk with Janice today, I talked briefly with Olivia Sprague last night. She is a young lady from Nashville who is also currently undergoing chemotherapy treatments. There is really a lot of truth in the saying: Misery Loves Company. Just talking with others who are in a similar place as I am makes me feel less alone.
I have avoided watching the show Parenthood ever since Kristina was diagnosed with breast cancer back in September. I watch the previews to see what's up with her but haven't watched a show-until tonight. Of course I pick the show where she gets sick, winds up in the hospital and makes video messages for her children. Probably not a good idea, but thankfully my life isn't a Hollywood drama!
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Dec. 8-Chemo 2, Day 5
Wow! Time flies when your laying around on the couch sleeping on and off for 3 days straight!!! Actually things are going quite well. I never did start taking the Compazine which was my as-needed nausea medicine and I think that helped me feel a little more normal. Kyle was home quite a bit with me on Thursday and Gavin wasn't feeling well Friday & stayed home from school. He and I made a good pair....sleep, watch a movie, eat, sleep, take some meds, sleep. Laura Scott brought a very yummy Chicken and Dumpling Soup for dinner on Thursday night along with a basketful of other goodies-thank you Scott family!! My Mom made me a Tuna Noodle Casserole for Wednesday night. I have not ever made that dish myself but quite often crave my Mom's so I was thankful to get some.
I just realized that I have talked a lot about food, but that's exciting because it means that my nausea hasn't really been an issue despite skipping out on the extra meds!!!
I got to get out for a while this afternoon to go to Gavin's basketball game. I was tired and achy while there but somehow that all fades away when you are watching your son and his buddies tear up the court! Gavin had 9 points including one 3-pointer! I was soooo ready to get home, get back into my comfy clothes and lay down for a while though.
Today felt like a day of extra blessings. My sister Emilie works for a company filled with the most generous & caring people. Her boss Dawn & her husband Larry gave our family a generous gift...the kind that makes you tear up & wonder, again, how you possibly say thank you for such a gift. My friend Nichole gave us a "goodie box" filled with Christmas yummys, my mom-in-law Jill gave us food for dinner tonight and then our mailbox was overflowing (literally) with several packages and cards!
I just realized that I have talked a lot about food, but that's exciting because it means that my nausea hasn't really been an issue despite skipping out on the extra meds!!!
I got to get out for a while this afternoon to go to Gavin's basketball game. I was tired and achy while there but somehow that all fades away when you are watching your son and his buddies tear up the court! Gavin had 9 points including one 3-pointer! I was soooo ready to get home, get back into my comfy clothes and lay down for a while though.
Today felt like a day of extra blessings. My sister Emilie works for a company filled with the most generous & caring people. Her boss Dawn & her husband Larry gave our family a generous gift...the kind that makes you tear up & wonder, again, how you possibly say thank you for such a gift. My friend Nichole gave us a "goodie box" filled with Christmas yummys, my mom-in-law Jill gave us food for dinner tonight and then our mailbox was overflowing (literally) with several packages and cards!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Dec. 5th-Chemo 2, Day 2
Well it's 2 down, 2 to go! Halfway there! Yesterday went well. My Mom went with me again. We arrived at 9am and left at 1:30pm. Another very nice chemo nurse who was funny & helpful. I had a tuna sandwich, jello & chips for lunch. The highlight of the day was a phone call from the Genetics Counselor. She had my results from the genetics testing and was trying to set up an appointment with me. She comes from Notre Dame and is only in B.C. twice a month so I meet with her on Dec. 27th. However, she said that she would go ahead & give me my results over the phone so I wouldn't have to wait all that time. The results were negative!!! There is no mutation found so I do not have that increased risk of breast cancer. Although this is great news, it still makes us scratch our heads as to why we have this major family presence of breast cancer?! I will get to talk with the counselor on the 27th and ask her more of these questions. Had another nice visit with my Aunt Barb on the way home yesterday. Although she doesn't complain at all, it certainly puts things in perspective for me to spend time with her. She is a fighter and a true inspiration! She has a sign on her wall that says, "God doesn't give us what we can handle, He helps us handle what we are given."
Felt pretty good yesterday evening. Was able to take Gavin to practice and Alexis to dance. I had a little nausea but was able to eat the yummy dinner that Susie Butler provided for us last night. Thank you Susie! Last time I started taking my as needed nausea meds (Compazine) on the evening of my chemo day but I didn't feel like I needed it & still haven't taken it. That could change at any time but I am not going to be as quick to use it this time cause I think that caused a lot of my drowsiness and feeling like I couldn't concentrate or focus well. I was up every 2 hours last night to go to the bathroom. They put so much fluids into you by the time you get all the meds! Luckily I was able to fall back to sleep pretty well in between. Today I have my Neulasta shot at 2pm.
I got my wig cut on Monday and have been wearing it now. I really like it, just getting used to having bangs, haven't had bangs in quite a while. So you may see someone around town who looks like me but with a new do! Maybe I will get a picture that I can post on here for those who won't be seeing me around.
Felt pretty good yesterday evening. Was able to take Gavin to practice and Alexis to dance. I had a little nausea but was able to eat the yummy dinner that Susie Butler provided for us last night. Thank you Susie! Last time I started taking my as needed nausea meds (Compazine) on the evening of my chemo day but I didn't feel like I needed it & still haven't taken it. That could change at any time but I am not going to be as quick to use it this time cause I think that caused a lot of my drowsiness and feeling like I couldn't concentrate or focus well. I was up every 2 hours last night to go to the bathroom. They put so much fluids into you by the time you get all the meds! Luckily I was able to fall back to sleep pretty well in between. Today I have my Neulasta shot at 2pm.
I got my wig cut on Monday and have been wearing it now. I really like it, just getting used to having bangs, haven't had bangs in quite a while. So you may see someone around town who looks like me but with a new do! Maybe I will get a picture that I can post on here for those who won't be seeing me around.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Preparing for Round 2!
Jill (Kyle's Mom) and I went to my oncology appointment this morning. First blood work (which has all been normal), a visit with my favorite nurse, Joe, and then some time with the doctor. I found out that I can take Claritin to help (hopefully) with the effects of the Neulasta shot that I had trouble with before. I can also take Tylenol PM or Children's Benedryl to aid in sleeping the first week.
He said that the chemo does have a cumulative effect. Not sure what that will mean for me. But likely the symptoms will be more severe and I could have less "normal" feeling time between treatments. I am feeling down tonight as I am a nervous about heading back in to this. It's kind of nice knowing what to expect (the unknown is always scarier) but because I know what to expect I think I dread it more. I know that I will get through it with God's help and the support & prayers of all of you. It's such a small amount of time in the whole scheme of things & so temporary.
My Mom shared this verse with me tonight. She reminded me that I had given her this same verse 10 years ago when she was fighting her own battle with cancer.
Isaiah 40:31 But those who trust in the Lord will become strong again. They will rise up as an eagle in the sky; they will run and not need rest; they will walk and not become tired.
He said that the chemo does have a cumulative effect. Not sure what that will mean for me. But likely the symptoms will be more severe and I could have less "normal" feeling time between treatments. I am feeling down tonight as I am a nervous about heading back in to this. It's kind of nice knowing what to expect (the unknown is always scarier) but because I know what to expect I think I dread it more. I know that I will get through it with God's help and the support & prayers of all of you. It's such a small amount of time in the whole scheme of things & so temporary.
My Mom shared this verse with me tonight. She reminded me that I had given her this same verse 10 years ago when she was fighting her own battle with cancer.
Isaiah 40:31 But those who trust in the Lord will become strong again. They will rise up as an eagle in the sky; they will run and not need rest; they will walk and not become tired.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Dec. 1-Chemo Day 19
Well this will be like the fourth day without my hair. Things have gone well. Yesterday morning I went to the school to make popcorn. I was so excited about getting to do that as it had been a while since I could. But as I was leaving my driveway I got a sick feeling my stomach and felt like I was not ready to. But then that strength comes and I not only spend the morning making popcorn but I went to lunch at Goodtime Pizza with my friend Dianna.
My wig came on Thursday. It is beautiful and just perfect for me. I do need trimming/thinning done on it as it goes into my eyes quite badly. So until that gets done I don't think I can wear it. I have a couple of calls in to people who can help me figure out where to go to have that done.
In the meantime I can wear it a bit around the house to begin getting used to it. Speaking of around the house...I always thought I would have a hat or something on at all times even when at home. But after wearing a hat or scarf out and about the first thing I want to do when I get home is whip them off! Even the most comfy hat or scarf gets itchy & tight after a while. So far my family hasn't protested about my baldness around the house. I guess I wouldn't care much if they did...one of them gets to be bald 24/7 and none of the rest of us have ever complained:)
My highlight so far in this "hairless" journey was last night. I went out to dinner with my good friends, Kelly & Mindy. As we were pulling out of the driveway Kelly stops the car and pulls out two hats. She says that in order to make me feel more comfortable for the evening she had brought some hats for her and Mindy to wear (poor Mindy, she has had no say in this matter) and proceeds to put on a beanie hat that has several tentacles coming off of it that light up (see picture below). She passes Mindy a shark hat & instructs her to put it on. We were all laughing so hard and it was so amazing that she thought of me in that way and wanted to do something to make me feel comfortable! When we arrived at Clara's on the River I made it very clear that they did not have to wear their hats inside (it would have been a little embarrassing) and I think Mindy was relieved:)
Kelly insisted that they at least take them inside with them...just in case! Once we got home Kelly's son took a picture of us. I even got to wear a mohawk hat. Love my friends & family for making this all so easy!!!
My wig came on Thursday. It is beautiful and just perfect for me. I do need trimming/thinning done on it as it goes into my eyes quite badly. So until that gets done I don't think I can wear it. I have a couple of calls in to people who can help me figure out where to go to have that done.
In the meantime I can wear it a bit around the house to begin getting used to it. Speaking of around the house...I always thought I would have a hat or something on at all times even when at home. But after wearing a hat or scarf out and about the first thing I want to do when I get home is whip them off! Even the most comfy hat or scarf gets itchy & tight after a while. So far my family hasn't protested about my baldness around the house. I guess I wouldn't care much if they did...one of them gets to be bald 24/7 and none of the rest of us have ever complained:)
My highlight so far in this "hairless" journey was last night. I went out to dinner with my good friends, Kelly & Mindy. As we were pulling out of the driveway Kelly stops the car and pulls out two hats. She says that in order to make me feel more comfortable for the evening she had brought some hats for her and Mindy to wear (poor Mindy, she has had no say in this matter) and proceeds to put on a beanie hat that has several tentacles coming off of it that light up (see picture below). She passes Mindy a shark hat & instructs her to put it on. We were all laughing so hard and it was so amazing that she thought of me in that way and wanted to do something to make me feel comfortable! When we arrived at Clara's on the River I made it very clear that they did not have to wear their hats inside (it would have been a little embarrassing) and I think Mindy was relieved:)
Kelly insisted that they at least take them inside with them...just in case! Once we got home Kelly's son took a picture of us. I even got to wear a mohawk hat. Love my friends & family for making this all so easy!!!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Bald Is The New Beautiful-Continued
Due to technical difficulties I wasn't able to finish that post...
The biggest surprise about having no hair is how cold your head is when you have no hair! Now I feel bad for Kyle in the winter:). I am glad I have nothing going on today. It is nice to have some time to process this myself before going out in public. Not looking forward to the looks of sympathy or the stares that are bound to come. I am really ok with this so I want everyone else to feel comfortable about it too. My sister sent me a link to an article about embracing your hair loss situation. I liked the article because I want to look at this in a positive way and not be depressed about it. My wig has been shipped and should be here any day! I also got to try on all of my hats and scarves this morning...it's so much easier to try them on with no hair to wrestle with. I get to put away my brushes, hairspray and hair dryer. And guess how long it took me to get ready this morning?! I am so thankful that God has given me a strength that I didn't even know I had, he is so good to me! Thank you to all of the friends & family that were praying me through my "hair-cut". I am truly blessed.
The biggest surprise about having no hair is how cold your head is when you have no hair! Now I feel bad for Kyle in the winter:). I am glad I have nothing going on today. It is nice to have some time to process this myself before going out in public. Not looking forward to the looks of sympathy or the stares that are bound to come. I am really ok with this so I want everyone else to feel comfortable about it too. My sister sent me a link to an article about embracing your hair loss situation. I liked the article because I want to look at this in a positive way and not be depressed about it. My wig has been shipped and should be here any day! I also got to try on all of my hats and scarves this morning...it's so much easier to try them on with no hair to wrestle with. I get to put away my brushes, hairspray and hair dryer. And guess how long it took me to get ready this morning?! I am so thankful that God has given me a strength that I didn't even know I had, he is so good to me! Thank you to all of the friends & family that were praying me through my "hair-cut". I am truly blessed.
Bald Is The New Beautiful
This title comes from one of the posters that hang on my bathroom mirror right now. Yesterday the kids and I made 6 posters to hang up around the mirror that would help me once my hair was gone. I have to share because my kids are amazing! My posters said, "It's Only Hair!" and "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, Phil. 4:13". Lexi's posters say, "You Will Still Look Good!" and "We Love You Even Though You Are Bald!". Gavin's say, "Bald Is The New Beautiful" and "People Shouldn't Judge by Hair, They Should Judge by Heart!"
On Sunday morning my hair started really coming out. In the shower and while blow-drying especially. On Monday it was coming out in handfuls in the shower, while brushing it (even though I was really careful) and again while blow-drying. I was contemplating cutting it all off on Monday night but I just wasn't really ready yet. Tuesday morning was a different story though. I was washing my hair and it was coming out faster than I could wash it! I just kept thinking, "this is SO silly, why am I doing this?!?!". So I wrote an e-mail to myself & Kyle, just in case I needed something to read later on to remind myself why I was getting rid of my hair. Here is a part of that e-mail: "It was so silly & senseless to try & wash my hair in the shower today. My hair came out faster than I could even shampoo & condition it! I could feel it flowing down my back. It was caught between my toes and covering my arms. There was sooooo much more hair than yesterday so I can't imagine what tomorrow will be like. But I won't have to know because I'm done...done with trying to pretend that maybe it's not really going to come out. It is coming out and looking at myself in the mirror while brushing my hair is all I have to remember! I have been preparing myself for this for almost 2 months now...there is no use in waiting anymore. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
So after Kyle & Gavin got home from basketball practice we set up shop in our bedroom where we also watched The Voice on TV. Alexis got to have a turn at first cutting my hair with the scissors. She had a blast. My favorite was when she said, "oops, I messed up!". Gavin had a turn with the scissors too. I looked in the mirror a couple of times and we took a couple of pictures. It was actually fun giggling at the funny looks of my hair while it was coming off. Then Kyle & the kids took turns using the buzz clippers to finish the deal. I warned them that I might cry (I really thought I was going to when I felt of my head for the first time) but I never did.
On Sunday morning my hair started really coming out. In the shower and while blow-drying especially. On Monday it was coming out in handfuls in the shower, while brushing it (even though I was really careful) and again while blow-drying. I was contemplating cutting it all off on Monday night but I just wasn't really ready yet. Tuesday morning was a different story though. I was washing my hair and it was coming out faster than I could wash it! I just kept thinking, "this is SO silly, why am I doing this?!?!". So I wrote an e-mail to myself & Kyle, just in case I needed something to read later on to remind myself why I was getting rid of my hair. Here is a part of that e-mail: "It was so silly & senseless to try & wash my hair in the shower today. My hair came out faster than I could even shampoo & condition it! I could feel it flowing down my back. It was caught between my toes and covering my arms. There was sooooo much more hair than yesterday so I can't imagine what tomorrow will be like. But I won't have to know because I'm done...done with trying to pretend that maybe it's not really going to come out. It is coming out and looking at myself in the mirror while brushing my hair is all I have to remember! I have been preparing myself for this for almost 2 months now...there is no use in waiting anymore. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
So after Kyle & Gavin got home from basketball practice we set up shop in our bedroom where we also watched The Voice on TV. Alexis got to have a turn at first cutting my hair with the scissors. She had a blast. My favorite was when she said, "oops, I messed up!". Gavin had a turn with the scissors too. I looked in the mirror a couple of times and we took a couple of pictures. It was actually fun giggling at the funny looks of my hair while it was coming off. Then Kyle & the kids took turns using the buzz clippers to finish the deal. I warned them that I might cry (I really thought I was going to when I felt of my head for the first time) but I never did.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Nov. 25-Chemo Day 13
Wow! What a great 4 days it has been since I wrote last. I felt great on Thnksgiving as we traveled to my sister's home for a yummy meal and lots of nice family time. Then my mom, sister & I went out to Target & Wal-mart that night for some pre-Black Friday shopping. We slept from midnight to 6:30am and then headed back out for a long day of shopping. It felt really good to get lots of Christmas shopping accomplished! I was tired on Friday night but not much more than I would have been any other year.
Getting ready for church this morning was interesting. I realized after blowing dry my hair that the counter in front of me was covered with hair! No large clumps that are noticeable on my head but it's coming out nonetheless. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
As I write this I am eating a bowl of ice cream with a brownie. My nutrition counselor (a.k.a. my sister-in-law Erin) would not be happy to hear that. It was so easy to eat healthy when my stomach was unsettled but now that I feel so good, I am straying from my healthy eating plan. I am thankful to Erin who has taken the time to give me some healthy snack ideas that give me the protein that I need. I lost a few pounds during the first week after chemo so I guess this bowl of ice cream will just help me put those pounds back on! Thank you also to my fellow cancer survivor, Teri, and her Green Tea suggestion. I actually like it and look forward to having some each day.
This week brings a large to-do list as I have lots to accomplish before my next treatment on Dec. 4th. I am working on getting Christmas cards finished, wrapping presents and many other responsibilities. I am very thankful to have this time in between treatments to feel normal and be able to do things!
Getting ready for church this morning was interesting. I realized after blowing dry my hair that the counter in front of me was covered with hair! No large clumps that are noticeable on my head but it's coming out nonetheless. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
As I write this I am eating a bowl of ice cream with a brownie. My nutrition counselor (a.k.a. my sister-in-law Erin) would not be happy to hear that. It was so easy to eat healthy when my stomach was unsettled but now that I feel so good, I am straying from my healthy eating plan. I am thankful to Erin who has taken the time to give me some healthy snack ideas that give me the protein that I need. I lost a few pounds during the first week after chemo so I guess this bowl of ice cream will just help me put those pounds back on! Thank you also to my fellow cancer survivor, Teri, and her Green Tea suggestion. I actually like it and look forward to having some each day.
This week brings a large to-do list as I have lots to accomplish before my next treatment on Dec. 4th. I am working on getting Christmas cards finished, wrapping presents and many other responsibilities. I am very thankful to have this time in between treatments to feel normal and be able to do things!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Nov. 21-Chemo Day 9
I actually felt quite a bit like my pre-chemo self today! Lexi had an orthodontist appointment in Ionia, another trip to Meijer (it never ends), errands in town and an appointment in Battle Creek. I feel really good, just tired.
A cool side effect for today was floaters in my vision while driving this morning. Never had this before but my eye doctor says it's called Entoptic Phenomena. A formal definition is that under suitable conditions light falling on the eye may render visible certain objects within the eye itself. An informal definition would be that I was seeing my tears or blood cells. Aforementioned eye doctor is going to do some more research. It lasted only through my drive to Ionia in the fog:)
Speaking of research, my appointment in Battle Creek today was with a Genetics Counselor. I ended up having the test done. This is the purpose: The test analyzes a specific gene(s) for genetic changes called mutations. The gene(s) analyzed are associated with specific hereditary cancer syndrome. The test will help determine if a person has a significantly increased risk of developing certain tumors due to a mutation(s) in a cancer-predisposing gene. So now I've probably lost you for sure!
I think I mentioned previously in a blog that my Mom has had this same testing done and was found to be negative for any mutations. There is still a small chance I could be positive but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. One neat thing I learned is that if I am negative, my family (mom, sister & I) has opportunities to take part in some studies or research. Because the big question at that point will be; if none of us carry this mutated cancer gene then why did my Grandma, my Aunt, my Mom and now me all have breast cancer? Things that make you go hmmmm.
Really looking forward to all of the yummy food tomorrow as my stomach is almost all back to normal. I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!
Enter into his gates with Thanksgiving and into his courts with praise. Be thankful to him and bless his name. For the Lord is good; his mercy everlasting and his truth endures to all generations.
Psalm 100: 4-5
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Neulasta Roadblock
After a great day on Sunday, Monday provided a roadblock. My Mom & I went to Hastings so I could do my regular weekly blood work and we got groceries. By the time we returned home at about 12:30, I was having terrible lower back pain. The pain continued to get worse and included spasms as well as numbness and tingling sensations down my legs into my feet. Not fun! If I were to rank the most painful experiences in my life it would go: 1. Birth of Gavin 2. Birth of Alexis (I really don't know which child induced the most pain but Gavin's the oldest so we'll blame him:) 3.Yesterday's back pain. I was in tears and not in my right mind. After seeing what some pain meds would do for me (nothing) I put a call in to the oncology nurse. When she called me back she said that the pain was most likely caused by the shot, Neulasta, that I received last Wednesday. I questioned her; how this could be, I had the shot 6 days ago for goodness sakes? I have numbness & tingling in my legs that started at the same time as the pain, why is this? She explained that these are two separate issues. The pain, no doubt from the shot (a shot meant to help you has the ability to cause this much pain?...I'll get to that in a minute) but the other was from a conditional common for chemo patients called Neuropathy. So apparently I was having these back spasms and the neuropathy decided to kick me while I was down! The nurse said to start alternating Tylenol & Ibuprofen and also to alternate heat & ice, call tomorrow if it wasn't under control. I was so mad when I got off the phone! Not so much at the poor nurse who had to hear me sniffling back tears on the other side of the phone, but at this shot that can hurt a person so badly. The purpose of it is to stimulate or boost the growth of white blood cells that are often attacked during chemo. The brochure does indicate that the most common side effect is aching in the bones & muscles. It goes on to say that it can usually (gotta love the insertion of certain words) be relieved with a nonasprin pain reliever. So what do I do at this point but Google this crazy idea! There is a really good site courtesy of the American Cancer Society where a patient can put out a question and then others can answer based on their own experiences. These were some of the responses that I read last night regarding other experiences with the Neulasta shot: "unspeakable bone pain", "just about died from the pain", "such severe pain I could not even move". Reading these responses actually helped me to realize that I am not a wimp and that what I was experiencing was very real! Thank you to my parents who got Lexi to dance & back for me last night. Thank you to the 5 friends who I e-mailed yesterday afternoon asking for prayer. They did pray and also prayed that I would be able to sleep last night. Guess what?! I slept from 11pm-5:10am without waking once!!! If you really knew how much pain I was in at bedtime you would understand how excited I was when I woke up this morning! The pain is still there today but without those awful spasms. It actually feels better to stand than to sit or lay. I have no idea how long this might last or if the spasms will come back but God's got this and I know that he will help me through whatever else might come my way!
I am praying for and missing my preschoolers & co-workers today as it is Grandparent's Day at Peas in a Pod. I have not shared this with all of you yet but my oncologist "strongly suggested" that I not work during chemo due to the nature of my job and the fact that we are going into flu season. I am disappointed and missing my "little turkeys". But I understand and want to put my health first right now.
On another note, I ordered my wig yesterday! I had tried on some wigs in a store and found my favorite. My wonderful sister searched to find a company that sells wigs at a great price so I ordered the same one from them. I have not shared this on my blog yet, but a generous woman whom I do not even know personally (she works with my sister) wrote a check a few weeks ago that just about completely covered the cost of my wig. It was her birthday gift to herself. I cannot think or speak about this act of kindness without tearing up. This woman has blessed me more than she knows and I look forward to the day that I can gift someone else in a similar way. I am so thankful for these "golden nuggets" that the Lord has provided me during this time. How can I be down and out when such amazing things are happening in and through this diagnosis?!
I am praying for and missing my preschoolers & co-workers today as it is Grandparent's Day at Peas in a Pod. I have not shared this with all of you yet but my oncologist "strongly suggested" that I not work during chemo due to the nature of my job and the fact that we are going into flu season. I am disappointed and missing my "little turkeys". But I understand and want to put my health first right now.
On another note, I ordered my wig yesterday! I had tried on some wigs in a store and found my favorite. My wonderful sister searched to find a company that sells wigs at a great price so I ordered the same one from them. I have not shared this on my blog yet, but a generous woman whom I do not even know personally (she works with my sister) wrote a check a few weeks ago that just about completely covered the cost of my wig. It was her birthday gift to herself. I cannot think or speak about this act of kindness without tearing up. This woman has blessed me more than she knows and I look forward to the day that I can gift someone else in a similar way. I am so thankful for these "golden nuggets" that the Lord has provided me during this time. How can I be down and out when such amazing things are happening in and through this diagnosis?!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
More Like Myself
Today was a great day! I am certainly not 100% back to my usual self but today was a day that lifted my spirits for sure! The day started well when I woke at 5:30am and realized that was the first time I had woke during the night. This was a huge improvement from the prior few nights.
Secondly, I got to go to church! It was nice to chat & worship with my church family.
After some lunch and a brief rest I was able to have a nice visit with my cousins Josh & Lisa Oleson and Allison Boutwell. I also got to hold and cuddle Allison & Ryan's new baby, Dominick!
Then I went to my parents for a nice visit with them as well as Lee & Keri and got to hold and cuddle Keegan...all this baby holding is very therapeutic! Then after another brief rest (my rest times are getting shorter & shorter-YEAH) I made dinner for my family. I am very thankful for those who provided meals this week but it felt good to be able to cook for them myself! Plus food was seeming more appealing today and I was eating also for pleasure, not just because I had to.
On a funny note: my scalp was really tingly and itchy this morning. It freaked me out cause I thought I had lice...I even had Kyle check my head! About this time the realization hit me that this must be a chemo thing. I looked it up and it is:)
Secondly, I got to go to church! It was nice to chat & worship with my church family.
After some lunch and a brief rest I was able to have a nice visit with my cousins Josh & Lisa Oleson and Allison Boutwell. I also got to hold and cuddle Allison & Ryan's new baby, Dominick!
Then I went to my parents for a nice visit with them as well as Lee & Keri and got to hold and cuddle Keegan...all this baby holding is very therapeutic! Then after another brief rest (my rest times are getting shorter & shorter-YEAH) I made dinner for my family. I am very thankful for those who provided meals this week but it felt good to be able to cook for them myself! Plus food was seeming more appealing today and I was eating also for pleasure, not just because I had to.
On a funny note: my scalp was really tingly and itchy this morning. It freaked me out cause I thought I had lice...I even had Kyle check my head! About this time the realization hit me that this must be a chemo thing. I looked it up and it is:)
Friday, November 16, 2012
November 16- Chemo Day 4
Finally coming out of the "chemo fog" that I've been in for the last 2 days. In the whole scheme of things, I would say chemo has been easier than I thought it might be. This is just really due to the fact that my anti-nausea medications did their job and I didn't have to get up close & personal with the toilet! However, it wasn't any walk in the park due to the fact that starting Wednesday evening I grew very tired and felt like there were lots of weights hanging off of me. This lasted throughout the day yesterday and I barely knew what was going on around me. My vision was blurry & I felt like all I could do was lay there with my eyes closed or sleep. I really appreciated my friends Kristi & Carrie bringing dinner last night!
Today was better, not perfect, but better. I cleaned the bathrooms this morning and then was able to walk to the mailbox this afternoon. So it gives me great hope that tomorrow will be even easier and that I will be gradually returning to my normal self more and more each day.
I supposedly have 7-21 days till hair loss. Not looking forward to that but like all of this, it is temporary! Just want to walk through it all with a thankful & contented spirit.
Today was better, not perfect, but better. I cleaned the bathrooms this morning and then was able to walk to the mailbox this afternoon. So it gives me great hope that tomorrow will be even easier and that I will be gradually returning to my normal self more and more each day.
I supposedly have 7-21 days till hair loss. Not looking forward to that but like all of this, it is temporary! Just want to walk through it all with a thankful & contented spirit.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
November 13th-Chemo Day 1
Picked up my Mom at 8:30am. Drove myself to Battle Creek for chemo and ended up driving back too...that was important to me somehow. I felt slightly nervous at first but my nurse Bill was very nice and informative, he put me right at ease. My Mom was also there with me of course & we had fun chatting about anything and everything. Was also able to use the iPad and read. I started by having a numbing agent put on my port area so it wouldn't hurt when the needle was inserted. They gave me fluids and then some type of medicine to combat nausea. Once that was finished I began the chemo drugs. I am getting two things. Taxotere was the first one and it took an hour for that one to go through. Cytoxan was the second drug and this also took one hour. They brought around sandwiches, applesauce & chips for lunch and I was able to eat some as I was not feeling anything out of the norm at this point. I saw many other people that came in and out. One lady wasn't able to eat her lunch as she was too sick. Another lady had just gotten bad news, her cancer has spread to her liver. These ladies and the visit I had with my Aunt Barb afterwards serve as a great lesson in perspective. My Aunt Barb is an amazing woman who has been battling cancer & receiving chemo now for 2 years. I think I should handle my 4 treatments without complaining!
Started to feel queasy on the way home, tired as well. I waited to take my Compazine (anti-nausea drug) until after I dropped Lexi off at dance as it can make you really sleepy. So far I haven't noticed that but I have noticed that I'm not nearly as nauseous as I was-yeahhh! Dry throat and achy legs are the only other symptoms I notice so far. This would be a good time to thank everyone for all of the prayers today. I know I say this a lot but it's true, I can feel them!
Also a big thanks to Selena Reid for preparing dinner and her husband Mike for delivering it! Very yummy potato soup and breadsticks!
Started to feel queasy on the way home, tired as well. I waited to take my Compazine (anti-nausea drug) until after I dropped Lexi off at dance as it can make you really sleepy. So far I haven't noticed that but I have noticed that I'm not nearly as nauseous as I was-yeahhh! Dry throat and achy legs are the only other symptoms I notice so far. This would be a good time to thank everyone for all of the prayers today. I know I say this a lot but it's true, I can feel them!
Also a big thanks to Selena Reid for preparing dinner and her husband Mike for delivering it! Very yummy potato soup and breadsticks!
Monday, November 12, 2012
Back to Life, Back to Reality
The title of my blog today is a line from a song that was popular in the 80's or 90's. Between unpacking & laundry, I didn't have time to look up the artist or anything so if anyone wants to do that and e-mail me, that would be fun! So anyways, this line came to my mind today as we traveled home from sunny, 80 degree Florida and arrived in cloudy, 37 degree Michigan (note: we even saw snowflakes in the air this evening). Not only does this line refer to the weather changes that occurred for us today but also to the fact that at 4pm Kyle & I went to the cancer center for a chemotherapy training session. AND at 9am tomorrow I will have my first chemo treatment.
I was so truly blessed this past week. Some highlights were a bike ride (I rode a tandem bike with the kids-how fun is that?), walks on the beach, lounging and reading, laughter & conversation with family & friends, tons of food (got to try lobster rolls and a crab cake sandwich among other yummy things) and of course, the reason we were there, to take part in the beautiful wedding of Erin & Mike!
I ask that you would pray for me tomorrow. That any fears would be calmed & replaced with God's peace. Also that my side effects would be mild. There was a sign hanging in the house where we stayed this week, it said: Lord help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I together can't handle.
Lastly, I want to give a Happy Birthday shout out to Debbie, my sister's co-worker, who blessed me with a gift last week that still brings tears of gratitude to my eyes each time I think about her. There are good people doing good things in this world & I feel so lucky to be able to witness some of those things as I go through this process.
I was so truly blessed this past week. Some highlights were a bike ride (I rode a tandem bike with the kids-how fun is that?), walks on the beach, lounging and reading, laughter & conversation with family & friends, tons of food (got to try lobster rolls and a crab cake sandwich among other yummy things) and of course, the reason we were there, to take part in the beautiful wedding of Erin & Mike!
I ask that you would pray for me tomorrow. That any fears would be calmed & replaced with God's peace. Also that my side effects would be mild. There was a sign hanging in the house where we stayed this week, it said: Lord help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I together can't handle.
Lastly, I want to give a Happy Birthday shout out to Debbie, my sister's co-worker, who blessed me with a gift last week that still brings tears of gratitude to my eyes each time I think about her. There are good people doing good things in this world & I feel so lucky to be able to witness some of those things as I go through this process.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Florida Fun!
Greetings from sunny Florida! The temp in the rental car right now says 66 degrees. A little cooler than what you would think of for Florida but considering we left Michigan and it's 30-40 degree weather...we are very excited! I never dreamed last winter when my sister-in-law Erin announced her wedding date that this trip would be such a blessing. What a great opportunity to get away and try to take my mind off of the upcoming chemo treatments! Especially since there was a time at the beginning of my diagnosis that I wasn't 100% sure I would be able to go. But God, in his perfect timing, worked everything out just right! So we look forward to sun, sand, making memories with family and witnessing the marriage of two special people!
Monday, November 5, 2012
Nov. 5th-Day 35
In order to make this blog true and real, I have to be honest. I have felt mad & even a little angry about my situation the last couple of days. I guess since it's been 35 days since my diagnosis I'm doing pretty good! I know that it is common for people to feel those emotions but I just hadn't yet. Part of the reason I think it's cropping up now is that the bills are starting to roll in. Anyone who knows me well knows that I don't like to spend money, so the thought of spending money on this dumb cancer that I didn't even want makes me mad! But like everything that has happened this past month, I can turn it around to a positive. I am thankful that I have insurance so that we aren't having to pay for everything. And like my Mom helped me see today, it could be worse...in so many ways. So even though the tears are cleansing and one has to allow themselves to express their emotions...it's also important to lift the chin up and praise God for all of the good. So when I feel mad I'm going to focus on being thankful for all of the things I have because God is so very good to me!
Many have wondered how the Look Good, Feel Better class went...it was great! I urge you to recommend this program to any ladies you know going through cancer. I learned a lot while receiving lots of great products donated by various companies. The other lady in the class with me was also an optometrist's wife and Kyle knows her husband who practices in Battle Creek.
Emilie, Averie, my Mom and Alexis joined me on Saturday for some wig shopping. I didn't purchase anything, still not sure if I will, but it was good to try some on and see what I liked and how it all worked.
Many have wondered how the Look Good, Feel Better class went...it was great! I urge you to recommend this program to any ladies you know going through cancer. I learned a lot while receiving lots of great products donated by various companies. The other lady in the class with me was also an optometrist's wife and Kyle knows her husband who practices in Battle Creek.
Emilie, Averie, my Mom and Alexis joined me on Saturday for some wig shopping. I didn't purchase anything, still not sure if I will, but it was good to try some on and see what I liked and how it all worked.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Nov. 1st-Day 31
Kyle and I met with the oncologist again today. As expected, this meeting dealt with the next step of my treatment which is chemotherapy. Many have wondered why I would still need to do chemo since I had clear lymph nodes & a PET Scan that showed no additional cancer. I knew the answer to that but I think I needed the doctor to tell me too. He said that it is to take care of any microscopic cancer cells that weren't seen on the PET Scan throughout my body or anything left behind from the surgery.
On Monday, November 12th I will go for a chemo training session and then have my first treatment on the 13th. I will need to receive 4 doses of chemo total and they will be given every 3 weeks.
Tonight I go back to the cancer center for a class called Look Good, Feel Better that is offered through the American Cancer Society. This class is for women going through chemotherapy to give help on skin care, make-up and wigs/ scarves. Looking forward to what I will learn in this class!
On Monday, November 12th I will go for a chemo training session and then have my first treatment on the 13th. I will need to receive 4 doses of chemo total and they will be given every 3 weeks.
Tonight I go back to the cancer center for a class called Look Good, Feel Better that is offered through the American Cancer Society. This class is for women going through chemotherapy to give help on skin care, make-up and wigs/ scarves. Looking forward to what I will learn in this class!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Pastor Appreciation
October is Pastor Appreciation Month. A chance for church congragations to honor their pastor and thank him for all he does. As I have thought about my pastor, Don Roscoe, one thing keeps coming to mind. He prepares us. What I mean by this is that usually once every year or so he gives a sermon on living life in the midst of difficulty or about overcoming your obstacles. He has made it very clear to us that trouble is going to come into our lives at some point in time, that's just how life in a fallen world is. I have had trouble here and there in my life but I always remember listening to those sermons thinking, "well, I can't relate to this right now but I'd better pay attention and take good notes because someday I will need this!". We were taught not only that obstacles will be a part of life but what to do when they happen. Something that Pastor Don cautions is not to say "why me" when you face difficulties. Everyone has trouble in life, why should I think that I would be exempt? We are taught that we should use the difficulties in life to draw closer to God, to learn about ourselves and to use our experiences to help others. There is so much more that I have been taught that I am currently putting into action as I go through this difficult time. I am so thankful to have a pastor who cares for me & has prepared me for the good times as well as the bad.
I saw this quote in a book I was reading last night and it pretty much sums it up.
Don't Forget in the Dark What You've Learned in the Light
I saw this quote in a book I was reading last night and it pretty much sums it up.
Don't Forget in the Dark What You've Learned in the Light
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk
Under a beautiful blue sky in downtown Lansing this morning, Team Speak Hope gathered for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. At my best count there was 57 people who walked with us-Wow! The group ranged from high school classmates to co-workers; from family to people who I met this morning for the first time. All of them there to support me and to stand up against the awful disease of cancer.
Our team ended up raising a little over $3,400! As we gathered in a circle just before the start of the walk, I reminded the group of how this all got started. I set a goal of $200 and thought that I could probably get my parents and siblings to walk with me. As I looked around at the 57 faces that were there today to support me, it was very emotional. God has blessed me indeed!
I appreciate each person who was able to be part of such a special morning and those who couldn't be there but helped with donating. "Thank you" just doesn't seem to be enough...but it will have to do!
Our team ended up raising a little over $3,400! As we gathered in a circle just before the start of the walk, I reminded the group of how this all got started. I set a goal of $200 and thought that I could probably get my parents and siblings to walk with me. As I looked around at the 57 faces that were there today to support me, it was very emotional. God has blessed me indeed!
I appreciate each person who was able to be part of such a special morning and those who couldn't be there but helped with donating. "Thank you" just doesn't seem to be enough...but it will have to do!
Friday, October 26, 2012
October 26th-Day 25
One week since surgery and I had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon this afternoon.
I received my pathology report which he explained to me. Further testing confirmed that the lymph nodes were indeed clear. The breast lump was also tested and there were a good amount of clean margins around the area. This means that I won't need to go back into surgery for any additional removal of tissue! Like my Mom said, despite the fact that the cancer diagnosis is bad news...everything else has been good news! Gotta be thankful for the good!
Next on the radar is my appointment with the oncologist on Thursday. Hoping to get a clear picture of when chemotherapy will start and how all of that will work.
Team Speak Hope-Leslie Booher will converge on the Capital in Lansing tomorrow for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. We are currently the #1 team for fundraising! Go God!
I received my pathology report which he explained to me. Further testing confirmed that the lymph nodes were indeed clear. The breast lump was also tested and there were a good amount of clean margins around the area. This means that I won't need to go back into surgery for any additional removal of tissue! Like my Mom said, despite the fact that the cancer diagnosis is bad news...everything else has been good news! Gotta be thankful for the good!
Next on the radar is my appointment with the oncologist on Thursday. Hoping to get a clear picture of when chemotherapy will start and how all of that will work.
Team Speak Hope-Leslie Booher will converge on the Capital in Lansing tomorrow for the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walk. We are currently the #1 team for fundraising! Go God!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Never Once by Matthew West
Standing on this mountain top, Looking just how far we've come.
Knowing that for every step, You were with us.
Kneeling on this battleground, Seeing just how much you've done.
Knowing every victory was your power in us.
Scars and struggles on the way,
But with joy our hearts can say, Yes, our hearts can say.
Never once did we ever walk alone, Never once did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God you are faithful.
Scars and struggles on the way, But with joy our hearts can say,
Never once did we ever walk alone.
Carried by your constant grace, Held within your perfect peace.
Never once, No we never walk alone.
-Matt Redman
It hasn't even been a month but I look back at what God has brought me through and am amazed. He has had his hand in this the whole way through. He has been with me through each test, scan, doctor visit and more recently, surgery. Never once was I ever alone. And as I continue down this road of treatments and recovery, He will be there, I will never be alone.
Knowing that for every step, You were with us.
Kneeling on this battleground, Seeing just how much you've done.
Knowing every victory was your power in us.
Scars and struggles on the way,
But with joy our hearts can say, Yes, our hearts can say.
Never once did we ever walk alone, Never once did you leave us on our own.
You are faithful, God you are faithful.
Scars and struggles on the way, But with joy our hearts can say,
Never once did we ever walk alone.
Carried by your constant grace, Held within your perfect peace.
Never once, No we never walk alone.
-Matt Redman
It hasn't even been a month but I look back at what God has brought me through and am amazed. He has had his hand in this the whole way through. He has been with me through each test, scan, doctor visit and more recently, surgery. Never once was I ever alone. And as I continue down this road of treatments and recovery, He will be there, I will never be alone.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Oct. 22nd-Day 21
Each day after surgery gets easier. It's amazing the things you take for granted in life! Like washing your own hair, itching your back or opening a tight jar lid. I have to say that Kyle has been so good to me, not that I'm surprised, he's a great guy! But he's had to wash & condition my hair twice now, he did lots of laundry and cleaning this weekend and waited on me with great patience. I was up doing things more yesterday and saw that I could go a little longer in between taking my pain meds. Thank you to Mindy Hasselback for dinner last night...my family is not going to want to go back to my cooking!
One of the highlights of the day yesterday was my Dad, sister and brother-in-law running in their first 1/2 marathon. I was so sad not to be able to be there to see them cross the finish line. But then my sister called and said that we had to listen to AM 1340 as they were going to be interviewed by this radio station. Of course the station didn't come in on our radio inside the house so out we went to sit in the car where the station came in perfectly. It was so cool, but very emotional to listen to this interview live. I even got teary while listening to the recording again last night. I love my family so much and this just reminded me how much support & love they have for me! My sister recorded this interview with her phone. The YouTube link can be found on my Facebook page if you would like to check it out! Go Team Leslie!!!
One of the highlights of the day yesterday was my Dad, sister and brother-in-law running in their first 1/2 marathon. I was so sad not to be able to be there to see them cross the finish line. But then my sister called and said that we had to listen to AM 1340 as they were going to be interviewed by this radio station. Of course the station didn't come in on our radio inside the house so out we went to sit in the car where the station came in perfectly. It was so cool, but very emotional to listen to this interview live. I even got teary while listening to the recording again last night. I love my family so much and this just reminded me how much support & love they have for me! My sister recorded this interview with her phone. The YouTube link can be found on my Facebook page if you would like to check it out! Go Team Leslie!!!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Party In Pink
I know I probably sound like a broken record, but did you know that the Maple Valley community rocks?!?! This morning Nichole Hansen planned and carried out a Party In Pink Dance-A-Thon at the High School Gym. She is a very busy lady and so I really appreciate the time & effort she put into this. Thank you also to Angie Walker and many other MV teachers who helped out! I was able to get out there for the last 45 minutes and was amazed at how many were there shaking it to fight cancer. And fight cancer they did...$800 and counting was raised during this event!
Had to catch up on my rest this afternoon after my big trip out in the morning. Then we were treated to a yummy dinner from Kelly Adrianson. Ate while watching King of Queens Season 8. This was a box DVD set that Kyle got me for Christmas like 4 years ago and I had never even opened it. Guess I was saving it for when I was recovering from surgery in Oct. of 2012!
So excited for my sister and her husband as well as my Dad who are running in the Grand Rapids 1/2 Marathon tomorrow! Praying for safety & endurance for them.
Thank you to the English family for entertaining Alexis this afternoon and to Dad Booher for letting Gavin go watch the big game with him tonight!
Had to catch up on my rest this afternoon after my big trip out in the morning. Then we were treated to a yummy dinner from Kelly Adrianson. Ate while watching King of Queens Season 8. This was a box DVD set that Kyle got me for Christmas like 4 years ago and I had never even opened it. Guess I was saving it for when I was recovering from surgery in Oct. of 2012!
So excited for my sister and her husband as well as my Dad who are running in the Grand Rapids 1/2 Marathon tomorrow! Praying for safety & endurance for them.
Thank you to the English family for entertaining Alexis this afternoon and to Dad Booher for letting Gavin go watch the big game with him tonight!
Post Surgery-Oct. 20th-Day 19
Well I made it through surgery yesterday! We arrived at 7am and had some preliminary stuff done. Then I was taken by wheelchair to radiology where they injected a dye that would travel through the lymphatic system and collect in the sentinal node. This is the lymph node that all fluid passes through first so they remove that node and send it to pathology to be tested for cancer cells. This is how they know if the cancer has spread to your lymph nodes. So anyways, the shots that injected this dye were very painful but the pain didn't last. I waited 1/2 hour and then she was able to take pictures that revealed where the sentinal node was located. She marked two x's on me to show this and the surgeon would use the pictures as well. We had a great experience in radiology with a very nice tech named Melissa.
Then we returned to our room to wait for surgery time. My parents came and so we all chatted, watched tv and read magazines to pass the time. They came to get me just after 10:30. If you ever wondered what it feels like to have God's peace surround you and the prayers of 100 people covering you, I tell you it is amazing! I was so calm and at peace getting wheeled into that surgery room and even as they began to put me to sleep. Kyle said it was almost 2 hours before Dr. Rappaport came to talk with him. He told Kyle that my sentinal lymph node tested negative for cancer which spared me from another huge step of surgery-yaaahhh! I woke up very groggy in recovery and experiencing some pain until I got some pain meds. We left the hospital shortly before 4:00. I was greeted at home by pink ribbons tied all around the house. My Mom & Lexi did that in the morning before the kids got on the bus! I also have to give a shout out to Dianna Finkler who brought dinner last night. I hadn't really eaten anything since the night before so it tasted good! Thank you also to friends Mindy Hasselback and Nichole Hansen who helped with the kids yesterday afternoon/evening!
I am hoping that my sister-in-law Erin will share some pictures from her event today in Florida. Her and her fiancé, Mike, are competing in Dragon Boat races today to raise money for breast cancer research. Go Erin & Mike!!!
Then we returned to our room to wait for surgery time. My parents came and so we all chatted, watched tv and read magazines to pass the time. They came to get me just after 10:30. If you ever wondered what it feels like to have God's peace surround you and the prayers of 100 people covering you, I tell you it is amazing! I was so calm and at peace getting wheeled into that surgery room and even as they began to put me to sleep. Kyle said it was almost 2 hours before Dr. Rappaport came to talk with him. He told Kyle that my sentinal lymph node tested negative for cancer which spared me from another huge step of surgery-yaaahhh! I woke up very groggy in recovery and experiencing some pain until I got some pain meds. We left the hospital shortly before 4:00. I was greeted at home by pink ribbons tied all around the house. My Mom & Lexi did that in the morning before the kids got on the bus! I also have to give a shout out to Dianna Finkler who brought dinner last night. I hadn't really eaten anything since the night before so it tasted good! Thank you also to friends Mindy Hasselback and Nichole Hansen who helped with the kids yesterday afternoon/evening!
I am hoping that my sister-in-law Erin will share some pictures from her event today in Florida. Her and her fiancé, Mike, are competing in Dragon Boat races today to raise money for breast cancer research. Go Erin & Mike!!!
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Pre-Surgery-Oct. 18-Day 17
More good news today...my Pet Scan results showed no other cancer activity besides what we already knew. I don't know what that spot on my lung was, but it's not cancer and that's all that matters-GO GOD!
I had a great evening! First I met with my girls, Micah & Kim, who I do a mentorship Bible Study with. They are two amazing women who bless the socks off of me! Then I went to my parents house to watch the Tigers and hang out with my family. Emilie & family and Lee & family were there too.
I got to have some baby cuddle time, watch the Tigers sweep the Yankees and have my family pray for me. The highlight of my day was when my niece Averie prayed for me. This little 4 year old prays like an adult! Then she sang "Speak Life" by tobyMac and "Our God" by Chris Tomlin. Love her to pieces!!!
I decided to eat a second dinner this evening as I am worried about the fact that I can't eat in the morning. Anyone who really knows me knows how much I like to eat! I have to check in at 7am, I have an x-ray at 8am to help with the lymph node biopsy and then surgery at 10:30.
Specific prayer requests would be that I would not be nervous, that my kids would have a worry-free day at school and that there would be no lymph node involvement.
Thank you to everyone who is praying and offering messages of support! I feel so blessed to have all of you in my life!
I had a great evening! First I met with my girls, Micah & Kim, who I do a mentorship Bible Study with. They are two amazing women who bless the socks off of me! Then I went to my parents house to watch the Tigers and hang out with my family. Emilie & family and Lee & family were there too.
I got to have some baby cuddle time, watch the Tigers sweep the Yankees and have my family pray for me. The highlight of my day was when my niece Averie prayed for me. This little 4 year old prays like an adult! Then she sang "Speak Life" by tobyMac and "Our God" by Chris Tomlin. Love her to pieces!!!
I decided to eat a second dinner this evening as I am worried about the fact that I can't eat in the morning. Anyone who really knows me knows how much I like to eat! I have to check in at 7am, I have an x-ray at 8am to help with the lymph node biopsy and then surgery at 10:30.
Specific prayer requests would be that I would not be nervous, that my kids would have a worry-free day at school and that there would be no lymph node involvement.
Thank you to everyone who is praying and offering messages of support! I feel so blessed to have all of you in my life!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Good News
As some of you know, after my diagnosis, my sister decided to contact her doctor about having a mammogram. Even though she is 4 years younger than me, she wanted to have that reassurance. The first mammogram took place early last week and resulted in an abnormal finding. She had a more detailed mammogram on Friday that continued to fuel the suspicions. She then had a biopsy on Monday and received the results today. It was benign! We are all so happy and relieved! I told someone today that if she got bad news it would certainly shake us but it wouldn't break us. I am so glad the news turned out to be good...we've had enough "shaking" to last us a while!
Monday, October 15, 2012
October 15-Day 14
Had breakfast with a 15 year cancer survivor this morning-thanks Katy!
Still feeling so blessed and overwhelmed by the show of support & prayers coming my way.
So many people have mentioned that they are enjoying this blog. Like I said before, it came to be when a friend suggested that I should share my story this way. The afternoon I started it Kyle had stopped by to visit me at work. The children were napping and so he, Carrie (my friend & co-worker) and I set to work at trying to decide on a name for the blog. I looked at titles of other breast cancer blogs and found anything from "Save the Boobies" to "Cancer Sucks". My favorite was, "But I Don't Even Look Good in Pink!". These are all fine but I needed something that was more fitting of me. After further searching I was telling them about listening to a song on the new TobyMac CD. The song is called Speak Life. It talks about speaking hope, love and life to those around us. I decided when I listened to it that I wanted to try, as much as possible, to speak about my cancer in a way that would bring hope to those around me. So that is where the title of my blog comes from!
Tonight I messed up and I didn't speak love to someone that I care about greatly. I apologized & know it will be ok. Tomorrow is a new day and with God's help we will all get through this.
Still feeling so blessed and overwhelmed by the show of support & prayers coming my way.
So many people have mentioned that they are enjoying this blog. Like I said before, it came to be when a friend suggested that I should share my story this way. The afternoon I started it Kyle had stopped by to visit me at work. The children were napping and so he, Carrie (my friend & co-worker) and I set to work at trying to decide on a name for the blog. I looked at titles of other breast cancer blogs and found anything from "Save the Boobies" to "Cancer Sucks". My favorite was, "But I Don't Even Look Good in Pink!". These are all fine but I needed something that was more fitting of me. After further searching I was telling them about listening to a song on the new TobyMac CD. The song is called Speak Life. It talks about speaking hope, love and life to those around us. I decided when I listened to it that I wanted to try, as much as possible, to speak about my cancer in a way that would bring hope to those around me. So that is where the title of my blog comes from!
Tonight I messed up and I didn't speak love to someone that I care about greatly. I apologized & know it will be ok. Tomorrow is a new day and with God's help we will all get through this.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Super Radioactive Woman
I had my PET Scan this morning in Battle Creek. My parents went with me which was very appreciated! I had my 3rd IV of the week to receive the injection of radioactive glucose (sugar). The scan then looks at how your cells respond to the glucose. Because the cancer cells absorb it, they can find any other areas of cancer in your body. The area of the hospital that I was in looked more like a NASA lab or something you would see on Back to the Future. The technician had to leave the room while I was waiting for this substance to take effect because she had to limit her exposure to the radioactivity. And when my kids get off the bus today we can't have close contact because it could still be in my system! The procedure was easy, lots more time to lay there and pray. The results will be given to the oncologist anywhere from 1-3 business days. So if you see a glow of light over Nashville tonight, it's probably just me, Super Radioactive Woman!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
New info.
The surgeon's office called today with my surgery date & time. It will be on October 19th at 10am. My PET Scan was supposed to be this day so that has been changed to tomorrow morning. Just feeling grateful that everything is falling into place so nicely. I won't get to boogie with everyone at the Party in Pink Dance -A-Thon on the 20th but hopefully I will be able to come out for a while to see everyone in action! A huge thank you to Nichole Hansen and Angie Walker for planning this!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Stars
My friend Carrie sent me this quote today and it is so fitting.
"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars"-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Those stars that are shining in my darkness are all of you! Those of you who have sent a note, text, e-mail, Facebook message or post-those who have prayed for us-those who are sacrificing their time & energy to support the cause of cancer-YOU are the stars that bring light to this dark time. I am so thankful that God has put each one of you in my life!
"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars"-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Those stars that are shining in my darkness are all of you! Those of you who have sent a note, text, e-mail, Facebook message or post-those who have prayed for us-those who are sacrificing their time & energy to support the cause of cancer-YOU are the stars that bring light to this dark time. I am so thankful that God has put each one of you in my life!
Oct. 10-Day 9
Kyle & I met with the oncologist this afternoon. This is what we found out:
*The CAT scan of my chest shows a spot of concern on the right lower lobe of my left lung. This may or may not be anything so I am having a PET scan on Oct. 19th to learn more. Please join me in praying that this spot will just be GONE when they go to look for it!
*He wants me to have genetic testing done on myself to see if I may be positive. (This would mean that they check to see if you carry a mutated breast cancer gene). My Mom has already had this testing and was negative. There is still much that I don't understand about this...can my Mom be negative and me positive? And if I am negative also....why do we have so much breast cancer in our family? Don't worry, I'm not expecting you to answer these questions for me:)
*Per Dr. Smiley's (the oncologist) recommendation I have decided to go with a lumpectomy as my surgical option. This is where only the lump is removed conserving as much of the breast as possible. I will be calling tomorrow to schedule that procedure and will keep you posted.
*I meet with Dr. Smiley again on November 1st. This will be after the surgery (hopefully...another prayer request would be that I am able to have the surgery in the next couple of weeks) and will be when we start looking at beginning chemotherapy treatments. The type & schedule (how often) of treatments will be determined by whether or not any lymph nodes were affected and we're assuming that the spot on my lung will become a factor in that as well (but remember, we're praying that is gone:)
*Radiation treatments will then follow the chemo! Not much to say about that other than it's a little ways away so we're not gonna worry about that now!
*It was really hard walking into that cancer center today, but gaining all of this knowledge is so helpful to my mind & emotions. God is so good and I know He's got this!
*The CAT scan of my chest shows a spot of concern on the right lower lobe of my left lung. This may or may not be anything so I am having a PET scan on Oct. 19th to learn more. Please join me in praying that this spot will just be GONE when they go to look for it!
*He wants me to have genetic testing done on myself to see if I may be positive. (This would mean that they check to see if you carry a mutated breast cancer gene). My Mom has already had this testing and was negative. There is still much that I don't understand about this...can my Mom be negative and me positive? And if I am negative also....why do we have so much breast cancer in our family? Don't worry, I'm not expecting you to answer these questions for me:)
*Per Dr. Smiley's (the oncologist) recommendation I have decided to go with a lumpectomy as my surgical option. This is where only the lump is removed conserving as much of the breast as possible. I will be calling tomorrow to schedule that procedure and will keep you posted.
*I meet with Dr. Smiley again on November 1st. This will be after the surgery (hopefully...another prayer request would be that I am able to have the surgery in the next couple of weeks) and will be when we start looking at beginning chemotherapy treatments. The type & schedule (how often) of treatments will be determined by whether or not any lymph nodes were affected and we're assuming that the spot on my lung will become a factor in that as well (but remember, we're praying that is gone:)
*Radiation treatments will then follow the chemo! Not much to say about that other than it's a little ways away so we're not gonna worry about that now!
*It was really hard walking into that cancer center today, but gaining all of this knowledge is so helpful to my mind & emotions. God is so good and I know He's got this!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Overwhelmed and Humbled
Day 2 of being poked, prodded and scanned! Started my day by drinking a barium solution at home to prepare for the Cat Scan. It was yucky! Then when the technician was taking me back to begin the procedure he so kindly mentioned that I had another glass of the fine beverage waiting for me!! Had to have another IV for this procedure but the scan itself was easy breezy. They were able to give me the injection to prepare for the bone scan when I finished the Cat Scan so I didn't have to have an additional poke. My Mom and I were able to go do whatever for 3 hours. We visited my Grandma, made a Wal-Mart run and ate lunch. The bone scan was the easiest of all of the procedures. No extra pokes, a quiet machine & all I had to do was lay there for 20 minutes (lots more praying time)!
The reason that I named this post Overwhelmed and Humbled is because I have found myself using those words over and over since Saturday. I always knew I had a great family, I always knew I had great friends and I always knew that our little community was the best place to live & raise a family. But this past week I have seen things take place that I never dreamed were possible. Between flowers, cards, phone calls, e-mails, Facebook posts & pink hair dying to cancer walks, dance-a-thons and Team Leslie t-shirts I am at a loss for words.
Thank you just doesn't seem to cover it all so I will continue to pray for all of you & ask God to bless you. And please pray for me tomorrow as Kyle and I meet with the oncologist. Specifically that we would get a clear plan of action and a good prognosis.
The reason that I named this post Overwhelmed and Humbled is because I have found myself using those words over and over since Saturday. I always knew I had a great family, I always knew I had great friends and I always knew that our little community was the best place to live & raise a family. But this past week I have seen things take place that I never dreamed were possible. Between flowers, cards, phone calls, e-mails, Facebook posts & pink hair dying to cancer walks, dance-a-thons and Team Leslie t-shirts I am at a loss for words.
Thank you just doesn't seem to cover it all so I will continue to pray for all of you & ask God to bless you. And please pray for me tomorrow as Kyle and I meet with the oncologist. Specifically that we would get a clear plan of action and a good prognosis.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Oct. 8th-Day 7
MRI and blood work day today. A big thanks to Mom Booher who joined me! I was a little nervous about the MRI but radiology techs, Deb & Bob, put me right at ease with their comedy routine. It was hard to stay still for so long but I stayed calm & used the time to say some prayers.
While having lunch afterwards I got a call from the surgeon's office saying they had the results back already! She said that no other areas of concern were found in either breast (sorry, gonna have to use that word...probably more often than any of us would like) other than my tumor area. She also said that from what they could see, the lymph nodes looked clean as well (there will still need to be further testing of the lymph nodes). Yeah!!! Go God!!! One good report with hopefully many more to come!
This evening I was able to take part in the Dig Pink fundraising event put on by the Maple Valley volleyball teams. A huge thank you to Sarah Carpenter and the whole Carpenter family for your hard work in the fight of cancer! It was amazing to see everyone in the gym, young & old, dressed in pink to support the cause.
Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you."
While having lunch afterwards I got a call from the surgeon's office saying they had the results back already! She said that no other areas of concern were found in either breast (sorry, gonna have to use that word...probably more often than any of us would like) other than my tumor area. She also said that from what they could see, the lymph nodes looked clean as well (there will still need to be further testing of the lymph nodes). Yeah!!! Go God!!! One good report with hopefully many more to come!
This evening I was able to take part in the Dig Pink fundraising event put on by the Maple Valley volleyball teams. A huge thank you to Sarah Carpenter and the whole Carpenter family for your hard work in the fight of cancer! It was amazing to see everyone in the gym, young & old, dressed in pink to support the cause.
Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you."
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Oct. 7th-Day 6
Yeah! The best night of sleep I've had since Tuesday! Thank you to those who have been praying specifically for me to sleep better.
Wow! Yesterday was a humbling & overwhelming day for Kyle & I, but all in a good way.
If you haven't had the chance to see the pictures of Gavin's youth football team on Facebook yet you should check it out. (I would love to post one on here but just haven't had the time to learn that part of blogging yet:). The boys all wore pink socks which were provided by their coach. The gesture was just another way to experience the love & support of our community! While I am talking about Gavin I have to mention that he has such a great group of friends. Those boys amaze me! Gavin has come home not once but several times this week and told me how this friend or that friend is praying for me-wow!
Yesterday I also made a public post on Facebook to share the news of my diagnosis. Kyle & I both read the 80+ comments at different times but our reactions were the same. Tears of thankfulness & amazement streamed down our cheeks. We are blessed beyond belief! With God & all of these supporters for us...what could stand against us?!
Wow! Yesterday was a humbling & overwhelming day for Kyle & I, but all in a good way.
If you haven't had the chance to see the pictures of Gavin's youth football team on Facebook yet you should check it out. (I would love to post one on here but just haven't had the time to learn that part of blogging yet:). The boys all wore pink socks which were provided by their coach. The gesture was just another way to experience the love & support of our community! While I am talking about Gavin I have to mention that he has such a great group of friends. Those boys amaze me! Gavin has come home not once but several times this week and told me how this friend or that friend is praying for me-wow!
Yesterday I also made a public post on Facebook to share the news of my diagnosis. Kyle & I both read the 80+ comments at different times but our reactions were the same. Tears of thankfulness & amazement streamed down our cheeks. We are blessed beyond belief! With God & all of these supporters for us...what could stand against us?!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Meeting with the surgeon...
On Friday afternoon Kyle & I met with the surgeon who did my biopsy, Dr. Rappaport. I learned my type of cancer (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma), the stage of the cancer (right now I am Stage 2 but this could change depending on lymph node testing & spread) and some options for surgery/treatment.
After meeting with him we scheduled all of other testing that needs to be done. Luckily, I am able to get everything done on Monday & Tuesday! On Monday I have a phone consult with the oncologist's office, then I head to Pennock for an MRI and blood work. On Tuesday I go back to Pennock for a CAT scan on my head, chest, abdomen & pelvis in the morning. At 10am I will receive an injection to prepare my body for a 1pm bone scan. That will be a long day!
I am so thankful for how fast I have been getting appointments and even more thankful for the love & support I am receiving!
After meeting with him we scheduled all of other testing that needs to be done. Luckily, I am able to get everything done on Monday & Tuesday! On Monday I have a phone consult with the oncologist's office, then I head to Pennock for an MRI and blood work. On Tuesday I go back to Pennock for a CAT scan on my head, chest, abdomen & pelvis in the morning. At 10am I will receive an injection to prepare my body for a 1pm bone scan. That will be a long day!
I am so thankful for how fast I have been getting appointments and even more thankful for the love & support I am receiving!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Appointments
Just got a call from the surgeon's office and they had oncologist appointments for me! I have a phone consult on Monday, Oct. 8th at 9am and then see the doctor on Wednesday, Oct. 10th at 1:45pm.
I am thankful that I am getting in so quickly.
I am thankful that I am getting in so quickly.
Oct. 4th-Day 3
A good friend encouraged me to write a blog. It will be a way for me to update family and friends about this cancer journey. God has already shown himself to me in His promises and the wonderful people that he has placed in my life. I would never have wished to have cancer, but I do, and I choose to speak hope.
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